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It is 152pm here and I need time to answer. There is no personal direction towards you in any way you mention. All will be clear maybe when I get the chance to gather thoughts properly. It's my last day of work so that dialogue will be in the immediate future. Talking about triggers may help people understand my style and forgive me the misunderstandings. I'm excited to have these conversations
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Hi there, I don't know if to start a thread on communication or to use this thread, because this one's topic does include aspects of communication. In the meantime, while I ponder, and invite votes and permissions I have recorded a quick message.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0hkui94SFvb
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I probably should have gone and had a nana-nap! been nodding off relaxing for a few hours, and are sort of waking up a bit now and having a bite to eat.
I mentioned having belonged to a forum filled with normal people socialising. I was a member of that forum for about 12 years, while also being a member of forums in the genre such as this one.
At one point some years ago I had decided to stay local and try and converse with people who don't necessarily want to talk about the kind of topics we all talk about.
It is a far more pleasant atmosphere in these sorts of places here where we are like minded and respectful of each other.
I ended up giving up the other forum last year when the management introduced a new feature where members could block other members post from their view. That was the last straw more that the first.
People had evolved I think. I mean years ago the nature of the novelty of these forms of communication included a large percentage of misunderstanding and people taking offence. The dynamic, people have probably all experienced themselves. I know when I first began conversing in this faceless voiceless way, it was easy to be upset by others. Sometimes they might be trolls, doing it on purpose, other times it was just passion and pitfalls of the form of communication.
At one point I used to make offhanded reference to "I think I need to put a set of disclaimers in my signature".
The chaotic energies were an eye opener, watching all the people treading on each others toes. Taking offence when none was given, reacting to all manner of things for reasons ranging from legitimate ones to misfires of word choice, and intentional provocation. It could rally turn into a school yard and I had the chance to observe it all, and be sucked into it less and less.
One popular thing would be for people to drop into a thread and post something that mocks the person or is a text based verion of an armpit sound or a 'pull my finger' joke.
Some of my language is sometimes derivative of these years.
Sometimes I see behaviours which I "think" are initiated from some of these dynamics.
Sometimes I'm right sometimes I am wrong.
Sometimes I pick up on an invisible energy coming from people, and sometimes again I am right and wrong.
It was an interesting way to self evaluate, having people who would attack you.
You really could feel psychic energy pointed at you when there was an altercation.
I stopped being outwardly topical regards alternative things, and began just trying to relate and offer perspectives on interpersonal interactions.
Hopefully I taught as much as I learned.
My line of topic in this thread had me quite heavily thinking of the types of responses that would be forth coming in such an environment. I have seen some interesting directions in which the topic transmutes into for this instance, gender war.
There was no person in this thread that I was taking to task or anything. I was in fact becoming aware of how in past versions of the conversation I have tried to make a direction of comment which has been misunderstood both on purpose and/or accidentally. I am hyper aware that there can be people who will read any comment that is challenging, as meaning one is sexist or misogynistic. So yes, I was somewhat triggered also, or I perhaps sensed something which was not there, the conversation to gain clarity on peoples stances can be misread as well.
I'm a little wary even now, as I hadn't actually thought there was any prolonged issue. Maybe there isn't, I don't necessarily want to address it as one, and then by way doing so, make it sound as if there was. But I also wish for happiness and understanding between all. But, I also want that understanding to try and be genuine. Meaning, I want everyone to be the best them they can be, and to speak from their heart without fear of judgement. So we can strive to make the experience even more sincere and co-operative.
To do so, we probably have to remember and acknowledge the difficulties in explaining our individual views.
At each step we can become triggered by something. A desire to rebut, or to whatever. It is really hard, and we have to be kind to ourselves as much as each other.
Yet, I also like it when people are confident if they can be, and to speak their truths with an amount of passion.
It is hard to communicate the perfect post, the perfect speech. How do you remember to cross every T and dot every I? there will always be something one forgets to include or excuse. Disclaimers. Considerations, and acknowledgements.
Perhaps we should try to, but also it would be easier if people could just know, that the other person, has all of our best interests at heart. And that we may even be able to recognise misfires in communication, unfavourable trigger words or whatever, and do our own substituting.
I am struggling with the parts of this topic where there are multiple things to outline, and which to outline first, and thinking someone may want to hear the point that is yet to come, first, and get reactionary when it doesn't come.
It's a group responsibility or one where people have facets of responsibility. Like we are responsible for our own feelings to a point and to a point it is not another's responsibility to make the other feel better if they become offended. Yet it truly is also ones responsibility to try and make good on misunderstandings. It can become a case by case scenario in some ways.
Like in the Edwards Scissorhands clip, sometimes one tries to help, but they end up stuffing it up one way or another.
There's still plenty more to be said, how it comes down to the male and female energies as well. But I'm going to come up for air.
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