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Thread: The Cosmic Emporium

  1. #4441
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    speakin of the weather... down here in Jo-Ja territory spring is springing 'n all that comes with it....

    Spring is here!
    And so are the semen trees.

    People say Asheville, North Carolina, is a beautiful town, and its beauty lies mostly in the landscape. Nestled deep in the North Carolina hills, Asheville is especially lovely in the spring, as color comes back to the Blue Ridge Mountains. But there is a problem with Asheville in spring: It smells like shit.

    Actually, it doesn’t smell like shit, per se. It smells more like the inside of a scrotum that has been trapped in tight pleather shorts for six to 12 months. On a recent visit to my hometown, my girlfriend, meeting my family for the first time, asked if Asheville has a public masturbation problem.

    “Why does it smell like semen around here?,” she asked as we walked downtown with my family.

    “Oh,” my sister said. “That’s just the Bradford pears.”

    Bradford pear trees, also known as the Callery pear, have small, white petals that turn to dark green foliage as the petals drop. They are pretty, but they are also the bane of springtime in Asheville. Urban Dictionary describes it as a “cross between old semen, dirty vagina, and rotting fried shrimp. Common throughout the South,” the linguistic authority continues, “these trees are pleasantly located near eateries and other fine establishments.” This is certainly true in Asheville, where a lovely outdoor lunch is made all the more ripe by the stench of rotting semen.

    And Asheville is hardly alone. A native of China, the Bradford pear is now an invasive species, spreading across the world to “almost every city and town to some degree or another,” according to horticulturalist Michael A. Dirr. Dirr also, seemingly without irony, writes that Bradfords “tend to develop rather tight crotches,” although their crotches are unrelated to the smell. According to the 2006 tree census, Bradford pears accounted for over 10 percent of New York City’s nearly 600,000 trees, making it the fifth most popular tree in the city.

    Bradfords were introduced to U.S. cities and suburbs in the 1964 by the U.S. Department of Agriculture as a decorative tree prized for its appearance and fast growth, but quickly spread beyond where they were planted, as invasive species do. Now, these pretty but stinky trees outcompete other plants in many areas, taking valuable resources and edging natives out of their own ecosystems. Despite efforts to replace them from Missouri to Boston, the problem of Bradford pears and other invasive species will only grow worse in the era of climate change, with spring starting earlier and at warmer temperatures. Invasive species intensified by climate change is one of the leading causes of biological diversity loss worldwide, according to the National Park Service. And Bradford pears are now in an estimated 25 states and over 150 countries, stinking up the globe, and taking over land where they aren’t meant to be. “When you see those fields of white flowering trees, please don’t get giddy with excitement over pretty white flowers,” writes the Asheville Citizen-Times. “What you are looking at are Callery pears destroying nature.”

    If it hasn’t already, the semen tree problem could soon reach a city near you, just like it has in my hometown. So remember this for the future: The stench of rotten ejaculate that wafts around you each April is just a tree reminding you that after the long winter, spring, finally, has come.


    https://grist.org/article/spring-is-...e-semen-trees/

    it wouldn't surprise me that the last word in the last sentence was intended by the author to be a pun! my use of the same word in the opening sentence? nah, not me...

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  3. #4442
    Senior Monk Gio's Avatar
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    Now that's a real bummer PR ...


    Meanwhile... Mitt Romney Attempts A Birthday


    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
    Published on Mar 13, 2019


    4:10 minutes


    Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdJ61hCPcdg



    ***

    Oh and this little bonus item ...



    Celebrities Give Bribery The Old College Try

    4:40 minutes

    Last edited by Gio, 13th March 2019 at 08:23.

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  5. #4443
    Senior Monk Gio's Avatar
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    Question

    C W gives his reflections on where the community is heading ...

    Jordan Sather, Linda Moulton Howe, David Wilcock, Edge of Wonder, TTSA Latest Developments


    Streamed live - 3/12/2019

    1:04:55 minutes


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  7. #4444
    Senior Monk Gio's Avatar
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    The Fowl's returning from their winter vacation ...



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  9. #4445
    Senior Monk Gio's Avatar
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    Wink

    ♪ So tell your mama and your papa ♪



    Sometimes Good Guys Don't Wear White

    Standells



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  11. #4446
    Senior Member Fred Steeves's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Aragorn View Post
    Now, I do not agree with all of Bill's opinions, but regardless of how you feel about the man, he does bring some interesting information to the table that he hadn't spoken of before, so enjoy!







    True to form that was indeed an interesting interview. Also true to form however, is that for all his insistence the last couple of years on the necessity of evidence for extraordinary claims, from Serpo, through Camelot, through Charles and the rest, evidence has been consistantly lacking.


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    The unexamined life is not worth living.

    Socrates

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  13. #4447
    Senior Monk Gio's Avatar
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    LOL

    This interview was simply a warm up for his speaker/talk trip to UFO MEGA Con ...

    Still the story teller ... Noting his faltering weak voice is lacking the luster within ...

    But That's Entertainment Folks !



    Last edited by Gio, 13th March 2019 at 12:04.

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    Quote Originally posted by giovonni View Post
    I sense humanity has finally caught up with this skit ...

    SCTV Half Wits

    7:56 minutes

    That's some good fun. I recognize John Candy and is that Martin Lawrence at the end? Arthur's nose is hilarious.

    When people look me in the eye and say "I don't believe that", and it's happening right in front of them, I'll remember this bit. And laugh. And cry.

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  17. #4449
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    Quote Originally posted by palooka's revenge View Post
    speakin of the weather... down here in Jo-Ja territory spring is springing 'n all that comes with it....

    Spring is here!
    And so are the semen trees.

    People say Asheville, North Carolina, is a beautiful town, and its beauty lies mostly in the landscape. Nestled deep in the North Carolina hills, Asheville is especially lovely in the spring, as color comes back to the Blue Ridge Mountains. But there is a problem with Asheville in spring: It smells like shit.

    Actually, it doesn’t smell like shit, per se. It smells more like the inside of a scrotum that has been trapped in tight pleather shorts for six to 12 months. On a recent visit to my hometown, my girlfriend, meeting my family for the first time, asked if Asheville has a public masturbation problem.

    “Why does it smell like semen around here?,” she asked as we walked downtown with my family.

    “Oh,” my sister said. “That’s just the Bradford pears.”

    Bradford pear trees, also known as the Callery pear, have small, white petals that turn to dark green foliage as the petals drop. They are pretty, but they are also the bane of springtime in Asheville. Urban Dictionary describes it as a “cross between old semen, dirty vagina, and rotting fried shrimp. Common throughout the South,” the linguistic authority continues, “these trees are pleasantly located near eateries and other fine establishments.” This is certainly true in Asheville, where a lovely outdoor lunch is made all the more ripe by the stench of rotting semen.

    And Asheville is hardly alone. A native of China, the Bradford pear is now an invasive species, spreading across the world to “almost every city and town to some degree or another,” according to horticulturalist Michael A. Dirr. Dirr also, seemingly without irony, writes that Bradfords “tend to develop rather tight crotches,” although their crotches are unrelated to the smell. According to the 2006 tree census, Bradford pears accounted for over 10 percent of New York City’s nearly 600,000 trees, making it the fifth most popular tree in the city.

    Bradfords were introduced to U.S. cities and suburbs in the 1964 by the U.S. Department of Agriculture as a decorative tree prized for its appearance and fast growth, but quickly spread beyond where they were planted, as invasive species do. Now, these pretty but stinky trees outcompete other plants in many areas, taking valuable resources and edging natives out of their own ecosystems. Despite efforts to replace them from Missouri to Boston, the problem of Bradford pears and other invasive species will only grow worse in the era of climate change, with spring starting earlier and at warmer temperatures. Invasive species intensified by climate change is one of the leading causes of biological diversity loss worldwide, according to the National Park Service. And Bradford pears are now in an estimated 25 states and over 150 countries, stinking up the globe, and taking over land where they aren’t meant to be. “When you see those fields of white flowering trees, please don’t get giddy with excitement over pretty white flowers,” writes the Asheville Citizen-Times. “What you are looking at are Callery pears destroying nature.”

    If it hasn’t already, the semen tree problem could soon reach a city near you, just like it has in my hometown. So remember this for the future: The stench of rotten ejaculate that wafts around you each April is just a tree reminding you that after the long winter, spring, finally, has come.


    https://grist.org/article/spring-is-...e-semen-trees/

    it wouldn't surprise me that the last word in the last sentence was intended by the author to be a pun! my use of the same word in the opening sentence? nah, not me...
    Wow, I feel kind of lucky. Where I used to live, Bradford Pears were the decorative tree around the buildings. I don't recall the smell. The nice thing is they bloom early and long and so they're pretty in the spring.

    The biggest problem with them is that their branches get big and then snap off and they become a hazard. The community we lived in had them all removed after a storm which brought down several branches.

    They replaced them with maples.

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  19. #4450
    Administrator Aragorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Dreamtimer View Post
    The biggest problem with them is that their branches get big and then snap off and they become a hazard. The community we lived in had them all removed after a storm which brought down several branches.
    Now that you mention that, the storm we've had here over the past weekend ripped several trees clean out of the ground ─ and they had colossal roots! ─ and snapped several others in the nature preserve behind my brother's house. I saw the fallen trees with my own eyes when I was at my brother's for dinner on Monday, but my brother says he saw them falling over in real-time, one after the other. And here in the town where I live, a brick wall came down at an elementary school only about 80 meters from my apartment ─ the debris was all over the sidewalk and part of the street. That was one huge storm.

    It was still very windy on Monday and Tuesday, but for today, the storm appears to be back for a little encore, albeit not as badly as it was over the weekend, when there were gusts up to 120 km/h inland ─ that's 75 mph for you Acronymians. All railway traffic had been grounded and replaced by buses. There were no ships at sea ─ they had all been called back, because wind speeds at sea would have been around 150 km/h, or about 90 mph. There was one casualty in the country ─ a guy who had decided to go fishing. There was a lot of collateral damage, though, including a car that got crushed by a tree while it was driving on the highway.
    = DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR =

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  21. #4451
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    Quote Originally posted by Dreamtimer View Post
    Wow, I feel kind of lucky. Where I used to live, Bradford Pears were the decorative tree around the buildings. I don't recall the smell. The nice thing is they bloom early and long and so they're pretty in the spring.

    The biggest problem with them is that their branches get big and then snap off and they become a hazard. The community we lived in had them all removed after a storm which brought down several branches.

    They replaced them with maples.
    i don't notice an odor here in the ATL 'n they're around. ashville is about 4 hrs northeast. given the rhetoric, i'm kind wonderin' if that piece is a spoof...

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  23. #4452
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    Thank you C.W. Chanter...
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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    Quote Originally posted by Aragorn View Post
    Lorien Fenton of KCOR Radio did an interview with Bill Ryan yesterday ─ about 1 hour and 47 minutes long, including the breaks.

    [...]





    Edit: Here's a second link to the interview, with the ad blocks removed, so at 1 hour and 34 minutes, this one is a bit shorter. The actual interview starts at 13 minutes into the show.







    I'm bumping this ─ sorry, Gio ─ because I've added a second link to the original post. This new link is the same radio show, but in the abridged version as it is now hosted at Project Avalon itself, with the ad blocks removed.
    = DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR =

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  27. #4454
    Senior Monk Gio's Avatar
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    Thumbs Down

    Quote Originally posted by giovonni View Post




    No problem, but just for the record i do not support Bill Ryan in any way or form.

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