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Thread: Adult Society

  1. #16
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    Energy Leadership Coaching:

    I'm glad you find meaning in it. Fundamentally, it is a crutch [as is everything else really], use it while you need it but don't feel obligated to cling to it. Baby bird must fly from the nest, one day.

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  3. #17
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    Quote Originally posted by Cearna
    ...came into our yard and stole my chair...
    Oh the thrill, the excitement, the spontaneity, the danger! The value of success victory and the admiring eyes of the that girl!

    I hope you eventually got the chair back.

    Quote Originally posted by Cearna
    ...and we are allowing them to become what they are, yet I believe they are often more loved than we ever were. How this has come about could be from the use of technology, since the computer does a lot of what our minds used to have to do for us.
    Kids will be kids. And they need to find out who they are, just like the rest of us. Sometimes invincibility is just as delicate an illusion to maintain as self image before our friends.

    I think Dreamtimer is on to something quite profound: family bonds.

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  5. #18
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    Quote Originally posted by lcam88 View Post
    Energy Leadership Coaching:

    I'm glad you find meaning in it. Fundamentally, it is a crutch [as is everything else really], use it while you need it but don't feel obligated to cling to it. Baby bird must fly from the nest, one day.
    Thanks for your feedback Lol, EL is not so much a 'crutch' as it is one of many 'tools' in my backpack I employ to gain a better understanding of others, be it in work-related settings or life in general. I'm a big fan of other tools that provide me with insights as to the inner workings of a person's personality, character, leadership style, learning style, and more.

    :unity:
    Last edited by idigress, 28th August 2015 at 15:55. Reason: Clarity

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  7. #19
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    compassion
    benevolence
    competence
    These 3 qualities are a great measure for maturity.

    However, the ability to comprehend another is a quality that seems to be in short supply.... there is a lot of communicating going on, but often people will childishly just react to what they think they are perceiving, and launch into a reaction based on that assumption, which is really only just an interpretation which biased perceptual filter systems will produce....

    As children, we are all sponges which absorb behaviors and -isms, and ideas from whomever we are exposed to in childhood, and often the flavors of that exposure never leave an individual, and such continue on reacting for the rest of their days, never really seeing how programmed their "individual behavior" really was, as things that close to the core programming are never really considered by any but a few individuals who are perceptive enough to notice.


    If there ever will be a Just Society emerge from the barbarous hordes, the ability to communicate effectively is paramount in this process.

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  9. #20
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    Quote Originally posted by ZShawn View Post
    compassion
    benevolence
    competence
    These 3 qualities are a great measure for maturity.

    However, the ability to comprehend another is a quality that seems to be in short supply.... there is a lot of communicating going on, but often people will childishly just react to what they think they are perceiving, and launch into a reaction based on that assumption, which is really only just an interpretation which biased perceptual filter systems will produce....

    As children, we are all sponges which absorb behaviors and -isms, and ideas from whomever we are exposed to in childhood, and often the flavors of that exposure never leave an individual, and such continue on reacting for the rest of their days, never really seeing how programmed their "individual behavior" really was, as things that close to the core programming are never really considered by any but a few individuals who are perceptive enough to notice.


    If there ever will be a Just Society emerge from the barbarous hordes, the ability to communicate effectively is paramount in this process.
    Indeed. Likewise as are giving and receiving feedback. Nigel Bristow, author of "Where's the gift?" describes how feedback often comes wrapped in an unsightly package with many layers of complexity that, like an onion, must be peeled back to find the 'gift' in that message. Here's an example from a time when I was leading a team of designers - I gave them all this book to read (it's about a 30-minute read but the message is so simple yet so profound). A single mother of a 7 year old child came happily bouncing into my office the next morning, so excited to share her breakthrough with her son who had been acting out in school and misbehaving at home. She told me that instead of being reactive to her son's anger and fussing, she decided to find the gift he was giving her. She began asking questions (peeling back the layers) as to why he felt and misbehaved and after a few minutes, he calmly told her that he was angry that she wasn't spending more time with him. Because, you see, she was working long hours on a very important project that took her away from spending quality time with her son. At that moment, she realized the message her son was trying to give her was "mom, I really need you and miss you." She validated his feelings and he went from anger to peace when he realized his mom finally HEARD him. She said the moment was amazing! I still get goosebumps when I recall her experience

    Finding the gift in the feedback we receive isn't always easy but it's well worth the effort.

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  11. #21
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    Quote Originally posted by idigress
    ...to gain a better understanding of others.
    I see.

    I actually thought it was about understanding one's self, perhaps by stimulating us to examine our [energetic] footprint that we leave behind. Hmmm.

    It seems that...

    Quote Originally posted by ZShawn
    ...the ability to comprehend another is a quality that seems to be in short supply
    ... insofar as I didn't glean the same value(s) you did. :/

    I'm not trying to suggest that crutches are a bad thing. They can be very useful.

    ZShawn, please don't take the following comments to be a personal criticism though I must confess it may carry a rather confrontational tone, even though I did really censor the more radical posturing. Its food for thought only.

    Quote Originally posted by ZShawn
    If there ever will be a Just Society emerge from the barbarous hordes, the ability to communicate effectively is paramount in this process.
    Good luck with that. I don't think barbarous hordes should be very interested in "communicating effectively" without the proper formalities (thumb screws, iron maidens crocodile shears, waterboards, handcuffs, electrodes or whatever happens to be in particular favor). Or do I have it the other way around?

    Maybe compassion, benevolence, competence are just words given subjective meanings to whoever wields them at a given moment? Hmmm?

    It is reasonable to think that an aging person should attribute these qualities to themselves as they face their own morality. They start thinking about their legacy, about how they will be remembered in society, and by their family and friends.

    But the issue still remains, maturity is just as subjective a term as any one of the three terms above, I suppose. Wasn't torturing a "heretic" to death an act of mercy performed by clerics?

    From that angle, I think a "just society" is something to be avoided like the plague. Do you happen to know what justice means?

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  13. #22
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    Quote Originally posted by lcam88 View Post
    I see.

    I actually thought it was about understanding one's self, perhaps by stimulating us to examine our [energetic] footprint that we leave behind. Hmmm.
    Yes, it is about understanding one's self. It's also about understanding others. It's also about understanding how others understand the people and world that surrounds them. And much much more. Why set limits on the application of such a meaningful tool?

    On this big beautiful blue marble we call earth, we all are interrelated, interconnected, and interdependent. We all seek to understand others as well as to be understood. Oh, the humanity
    Last edited by idigress, 28th August 2015 at 17:48. Reason: Semantics

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  15. #23
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    I agree with you, idigress.
    Last edited by lcam88, 28th August 2015 at 18:40. Reason: My shortest post!

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  17. #24
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    *As a youngster we begin to show what we are especially, what direction your Pathway is to take you for e.g. I came to be a teacher, but I went into school teaching, because my sister did it and I could see few other alternatives - right direction, but wrong kind of teaching. I think the children show you in the early years, but up till now we have been led by what society told us should be and we missed the guideposts, so more need to watch and listen, and not turn them "off"

    * we really must allow them to develop their own giftedness in ways of seeing, feeling, creativity, and not stereotype.

    * one of my bug bears at school was having to teach craft, every student had to do 3 40 minute periods of craft and they all had to go in turn to each type of craft. So I had a mixed class of 20 boys and girls, what on earth was I to do with those boys in a sewing class. One of the boys solved the problem for me, he wanted to make cricket "thigh pads" which I knew nothing about, but he did, so between us we worked out how to go about it, the other boys then asked could they make what they wanted to make and we worked on it together, we progressed to T-shirts and track suits, they were no problems in class. The year 7 boys (about 12-13) had to make an apron to wear in cookery and wood work and metal work class. For 6 months they had to do sewing. I was completely amazed, with the solution to that one. I had 1 Elna machine, 1 Brother machine, 2 Bernina's and 2 Husquavarnas. the other teachers were not impressed with such a mixed bag, but I showed them that the Husquavarnas had gears, which allowed then to sew slowly and carefully without doing in the engines. I took the work of half the class home to pin and tack if my mother helped me, so when they arrived at least half the class had work they could go straight to and it was easy to follow, few mistakes, the other half of the class lined up to see me to do the next stage. Ok. what happened - I arrived, after recess to find these boys had forgone their recess to get in line outside the door, so they could race in (they ran in to class) to get their machine of choice - usually the Husquavana. They were happy, I was happy, the mums were happy from many reasons one being their money wasn't wasted. It became the same amongst the girls, if I had a lot of their work ready, so they could go straight to it and because it was carefully and properly put together for them, then in the end the garment fitted, some of these were accomplished and talented sewers, and they were not wasting their time waiting to get to see me. discipline was better, except for the ones who were there hoping to get out of work. The student could be proud of what they had achieved, it was wearable, no money was wasted and the parents started to turn up in droves on parent teacher night full of how wonderful their children were. When other teachers took over some of the classes the results were minimal and the class sizes dropped, and no one was happy.

    When I started to teach for the Technical and Further Education classes for people from 18 years on, by Correspondence, another story, these were the school drop outs for some reason or another, who were back to get their Higher School Certificate because jobs were getting scarce and people needed more qualifications. These had low self esteem usually, were used to being the failures at school. some were single parents, or were older and coming back to see if they could start to learn again. One thing we had always done at the Correspondence School was to send out a letter with every lot of work so that they knew they were not just a number but we took care to get to know them and in fact be a person to them. I did the same thing at the TAFE, sent out a letter, to talk to them, and let them know I needed them to talk to me, i received so many letters from students, saying I was they only one who did this and they really appreciated it, and this is a huge part of what school is not about. Many of them, I discovered could not really differentiate what to look for exactly in doing their work, so to some I sent letters explaining how they might go about this, then to all I sent a couple of pages explaining in other words what the question was about, how they might find the information, and what I was looking for for a full answer, but also let them know that if they didn't read this letter and just did their own thing, I wouldn't accept this at all. The point in this to give help and encouragement but to lay down boundaries against trying to put one over me with some flimsy excuse - if I got that, I made them re-do. Then they received a full answer from me on what their answers should have contained and why. In correspondence, we have a lot of drop outs, because, it is hard to learn to work by yourself, but I also had some who went the extra mile, for they began to not only want to, they found the need to look for more than just what was required, and they really came into their own self, from doing so, in fact were thrilled with their own achievement. Most of my students completed the course we were doing, from this personal approach and the sense that someone cared if they learnt or not. From the newsletters I received from our High School (they keep the residents of our street informed of what is going on in their school which I live next door to) they seem to also have a really caring and different approach to how to run a school now, yet outside OMG!!!!!!!!!

    One of my own teachers taught me more about teaching than I ever learnt in Teacher's college. We were at tennis during sport time, and she came to talk to me - she taught me history and English a lovely old dear, and she said "do you know, I've been looking at your work and I believe you are capable of doing a great deal better than you have been, will you try to do better for me". I had always been led to believe at home that I was a bit of a dead loss and my sister always believed she was brainier than myself, so I had no reason to try, but for her I did. In the next half year I gained 16 places in class. Later in my life a school inspector wanted to send me to a one teacher of Home Science small school , but insisted I should go to more studies but my lack of belief in my ability held me back, and she insisted she knew better than I, so I did go on and found I could do it after all. So I think in amongst all this wondrous entertainment and new means of teaching, a lot boils down to making boundaries which don't seem to be a part of life any more, become a listener and observer of each one and treat them as if you care, (ie if they ever allow you to in between the bad behaviour) and treat each person as an individual with a sovereignty of their own. If you do they soon make you a part of their family. It helps to know their great love in life is to become a ballerina, or I want to go on to become >>>>> In one school, of only 60 girl students, there was absolutely nothing for them outside in life, so I taught those interested to play hockey, and we joined the hockey association where I played and refereed. They had to travel a long distance to play and we had to set up special times for them to play, and they started at the bottom , but they went from C reserve to c grade to B reserve by winning each year and they will never forget that team they played in for 4 years. They also, in class, if I got to school late from my exhaughst pipe falling off once again, would start off their class on their own, one would take over as teacher and everything was underway and going smoothly when I finally got there (I travelled 30 miles each way to school). I had no family of my own so I had the time to put into what I did and I would not be expecting other teachers to do the same, for me discipline was a problem, so I had to find ways to make them want to work and not play up - bribery maybe, but in those classes I at least was happier and so were they.

    You may be able to see where this fits in to today's youth.

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