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Thread: The musings of a different cigarette-smoking man

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    The musings of a different cigarette-smoking man

    Coming soon, no rants no rows, just musings................

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    In the dead of night, unable to sleep as the pain levels in arms and legs reaches unbearable levels you sit and try to gather your thoughts, yet another night of being drained of energy, one night among hundreds. You look around as others sleep, its quiet save from the hum of the electric fan doing its best to keep the room cool in these muggy summer nights. Your mind wanders aimlessly at first then settles on the past. You see little point in trying to concentrate on anything else so let the mind do its own thing and begins its journey back in time.

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    It seemed perfectly logical to send the mind back through time, knowing full well there probably would be more bad, sad times than good ones, but the mind insisted and away we went. Even with acute pain the mind wanted to be methodical and so started on the day I was born, a typical day in June of 1952, I was born at home on that Tuesday afternoon, maybe if I knew what my life would turn out to be .....well,,,,,cannot change things so mind sighed a little and moved on.
    Off we went to the day I was rushed to hospital at age 2, we all knew the story so mind moved on again as it did not particularly wish to dwell on that time. Moving onwards through the various strange experiences I suffered as a child and the traumas endured by being placed in that program, the mind hesitated but knew this was a kind of therapy, done it hundreds of times before, the mind called it 'going to that dark place', full of horrors and trauma and pain. The mind realised that the body was shaking and tears were forming but the mind knew it had to persist, kept telling itself its necessary, its therapy.

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    Although I have no wish for you to relive bad experiences, I do look forward to more of your sharing. You have a valuable perspective.

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    Its OK, I feel I miust go thru those in order to move forward and to let others know of what its been like being this person. I shall continue here as soon as I can. Thankyou

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    The musings have not been forgotten, they will continue as soon as I have the time and quiet surroundings to do so, thankyou for your kind patience

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    Still musing, but some musings may not be fit for open release, pondering and musings continue................I'll let you know

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    Senior Member United States idigress's Avatar
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    Smokey, thanks for sharing your musings. Your words create vivid images in my mind...as if you are on the outside looking in. Please keep sharing, it can ce cathartic albeit painful.

    Side note: the wolf is my totem animal. I've drawn on her inner strength throughout my life
    Tell me, I’ll forget
    Show me, I’ll remember
    Involve me, I’ll understand

    ~Chinese Proverb~

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    This is how I feel for much of the time, outside looking in, I promised I would open up and share some of the dark times as well as the lighter times, I will do so. Yes the Wolf is a beautiful creature, since childhood I have always felt a connection, a kinship with these animals. I will restart musings soon, and thanks for your kind words

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    I see of late a lot of traffic for the thread re the blog, the Ruiner, but as I have been kicked out of that discussion I cannot even read the posts there, whatever! I also see much traffic re Corey Goode still, all I can say is this......at some point in the near future when the blinds and controls are lifted, you will all see whom has been leading you on the right path and all those that have been leading you down the garden path, I assure you this WILL occur but cannot of course give you a date. NOW, I'm musing on my musings, I'm looking around at the World and at times I'm ashamed to be a part of the human race. I feel, sorrow, grief and anquish, maybe cos I'm still in that dark place but even if I were not looking around its hard to not shed a tear at the fragile, frail human vessels in torment and trauma. Many dying needlessly in conflicts, many dying of hunger. Negative aspects of the human race highlighted daily on the news, humans never surprise me at the level they can sink to, greed, selfishness, no compassion, no respect, no consideration, why oh why? Sure there are positive elements but these are always hidden by the negatives we see daily. Looking back on my life there were times when I honestly could not see me getting through the time I was in and actually welcomed passing to the next level of existence. I'm ashamed at some parts of my past as I am proud of other parts. Of late I have as they say 'put my house in order'. By that I mean I have updated my will, checked all insurance policies and made a brief video detailing for the benefit of those I leave behind, where important documents are kept and what to do re bills, bank accounts etc etc. I sighed relief once that was completed. Its far from easy being human right?

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    The old sod is down but certainly not out, so whilst in R & R here are some old bits n pieces to chew on, spit out and forget LOL.................

    In May of 2011 I visited the UK. During my travels there I arranged to meet with Barry King and conduct a long awaited interview with him. Thanks to the kind generosity of John Agnew, landowner in the Suffolk area, we found ourselves in a lovely building with wonderful lighting. Barry King is the quintessential clandestine operative. His title, Security Enforcement Officer does little to reveal his true area of expertise. Selected as a young child he was, like many others monitored from afar and groomed then eventually employed by Peasmore an underground base in the UK. Due to his psi-tech abilities he was used in a variety of roles, many of which remain classified and are not revealed to this day.

    At this time, getting on in age, it appears that one of his primary roles is yet to be played out. One of five with 'special abilities' who when brought together apparently will comprise a unique combination of individuals. The operation they will perform is unknown and very secret however, in listening to my recent discussion with him, there is a chance to gain something of a look into what that operation might consist of given Barry's background.

    While it is more than clear that Barry was being extremely careful due to previous run-ins with his 'employers' for speaking out, if you watch his face and his body language and pay close attention to his word choice, the real truth behind his words can be found.

    Note; I apologize for the sound quality, for some reason, the mics do not seem to either have been working or the echo of the large room seems to have interfered. We will endeavor to obtain a written transcript available as soon as possible. However, you cannot rely on his words alone simply because his facial expressions and body language often reveal much much more...and do at times, contradict what he seems to be saying.

    Kerry Cassidy
    Project Camelot

    Release date: June 11, 2011



    Thanks to the original creator of this piece.............................



    To read and hear about the word "whistleblower"‚brings to mind the unimaginable and daunting task it must be to be in the constant line of fire. To be called, dishonest, a disinformation agent, crazy or a conspiracy nut, are only a few of the names carried on the shoulders of such brave men and women. The stigma never goes away and the weight of its meaning can debilitate the heart and soul of any individual who should voluntarily, carry its burden. One such whistleblower, Barry M King has walked the walk of a truthseeker, enduring hardships and ill health and yet, fearlessly carrying on with his message, a message that has not changed through the course of time.

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    Sole reason for a quick posting here was to quell grass roots runours that I am deceased, kicked the bucket, pushing up daisies, concrete boots etc etc. Once fully ok I will resume. Thanks guys

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    Keep it going, Barry — you're still too young to die.

    Here, given that you haven't visited The One Truth's Lounge Thread yet, let me copy over one of my posts there. This is a song which always lifts me up when I'm feeling down.


    Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL7-CKirWZE



    Wake up kids
    We've got the dreamers disease
    Age 14 we got you down on your knees
    So polite, you're busy still saying please
    Frienemies, who when you're down ain't your friend
    Every night we smash their Mercedes-Benz
    First we run, and then we laugh 'til we cry

    But when the night is falling
    You cannot find the light
    You feel your dreams are dying
    Hold tight

    You've got the music in you
    Don't let go
    You've got the music in you
    One dance left
    This world is gonna pull through
    Don't give up
    You've got a reason to live
    Can't forget
    We only get what we give

    I'm comin' home baby
    You're tops
    Give it to me now

    Four a.m. we ran a miracle mile
    We're flat broke
    But hey we do it in style
    The bad rich
    God's flying in for your trial

    But when the night is falling
    You cannot find a friend (friend)
    You feel your tree is breaking
    Just then

    You've got the music in you
    Don't let go
    You've got the music in you
    One dance left
    This world is gonna pull through
    Don't give up
    You've got a reason to live
    Can't forget
    We only get what we give

    This whole damn world could fall apart
    You'll be ok, follow your heart
    You're in harms way, I'm right behind
    Now say you're mine

    You've got the music in you
    Don't let go
    You've got the music in you
    One dance left
    This world is gonna pull through
    Don't give up
    You've got a reason to live
    Can't forget
    We only get what we give

    Don't let go
    I feel the music in you
    Don't let go
    Fly high
    What's real, can't die
    You only get what you give
    You are gonna get what you give
    Don't give up
    Just don't be afraid to leave
    Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
    Fake computer crashes dining
    Cloning while they're multiplying
    Fashion shoots with Beck and Hanson
    Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson
    You're all fakes
    Run to your mansions
    Come around
    We'll kick your ass in
    Don't let go
    One dance left
    Don't give up
    Can't forget

    = DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR =

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    Super Moderator United States Dreamtimer's Avatar
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    I'm glad for the heads up 'cause I never heard the 2011 interview. Something new for me. Thanks.

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    Popping in, and popping out again, kind words many thanks guys.....................
    Quote by Bill Ryan...................

    Posted by Bill Ryan
    That's the actual risk that genuine whistleblowers always face: they're regarded as problems, and the problems have to be made to go away. Real whistleblowers are leaned on, threatened, bribed, punished, or in some cases, killed.
    They are NOT rewarded and left alone.
    They do NOT go on TV with their own co-hosted show.
    They do NOT receive the proceeds from online stores selling trinkets, souvenirs, and promotional memorabilia.
    Here's the thought experiment to compare.

    Imagine Ed Snowden peacefully living with his partner in the US, appearing on a weekly TV show, and receiving income from a gift store selling key rings and coffee cups with "You no longer have any privacy" written on them.

    That thought says quite a lot.

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