Why is the F word such an important word these days

[grannyfranny]

Okay, I am 71 y.o. and vocabularies have changed. Can you help me understand why this four letter word is used so often? It is used as a verb and adjective often twice in one sentence. The more crude the Youtube video, the more hits it gets. Interviews of this sort on Youtube even ask an interviewee, "How often do you masturbate?"

I was just looking for a guy named Dice (I think) on Youtube who use to do the weirdest interviews. He would ask people to sign the most outrageous petitions. For example, he asked if they would sign so that parents could murder their kids as long as they were under age three. It wasn't as clear as I stated but it was obvious and most would sign. I was horrified by this and other petitions that these ordinary looking people would agree to sign with rare exceptions.

The show was giving me an idea about what is now called dumbing down. But these days, it seems to be getting worse and worse. Some of these youtube videos now are pointless; it just shows some guy tossing his socks on his bed and he walks around doing nothing. It doesn't seem to be that life is pointless. Somehow it is considered funny by people who are equally and unimaginatively bored. And the maker of the video just brags that he is making tons of money.

Don't tell me to stop going to Youtube, I found and like Lisa Harrison and Dark Journalist interviews and I am always looking for new sources of information. In fact I have found a few from all of you!

I just find it so sad that more and more people seem ready for the lunacy bin. I don't know, I remember when I started wearing glasses; it wasn't because people's eyesight was getting worse, it was just that more people were getting eyesight help. Is Youtube becoming an outlet for people who need psychological help and can't afford it or deny that they are not coping well?

I am sure parents have days they would like to kill their kids or at least drop kick them. I remember my mother once saying,"Oh S••t" when she dropped a quarter pound of butter on the floor and that was the only time and many, many years ago.

Perhaps it has to do with the fact that people on this forum are working spiritually to deal with so much horrible stuff. It is just that some days I just can't understand it and it brings tears to my eyes.

Does this bother you, too and if so, how do you deal with it? And don't tell me that you just scream, "[Eff] you" at your computer screen:-)

Thank you

[bsbray]

I think the growing use of this word coincides exactly with the loss of organized religion in the US. Many European nations are already much less religious than the US and swearing in those countries does not seem to have nearly the same impact as it does in English. The French, for example, curse more often in situations where it would be considered inappropriate in the US, but the words don't carry the same impact anymore.

The church has always tried to maintain a monopoly on sexual behaviors as well, so you can attribute the growing openness towards sexuality to the decrease in religious influence too, I think.

As for the other stuff... I don't have excuses for everyone. Sometimes there just are no excuses.


Btw I know it might seem a little silly but I have a duty to enforce the forum guidelines, and trying to circumvent the profanity filter is one the rules I'm duty-bound to enforce. So I changed the way you expressed the word a little. Ironically, I hope you aren't offended.

[Dreamtimer]

This came up back in April in the context of children using or hearing this word. Some parents just use foul language in front of their kids figuring they'll learn it anyway. I mentioned that kids need to learn time and place. It's about judgement. Parents have the opportunity to set an example. Or not, and just let someone else do it since, "they're gonna hear it anyway." That phrase sounds like a cop out to me.

There are many reasons to be careful with language. Words carry power. When people throw the 'F' word around, they can't find real words to say what they want. It's a cheap substitute. But then it loses power. It becomes mundane. Then people use it casually. Except, it's not casual. It still has power, but they can't even use it right.

The "F" word may not be a big deal to some. It is to others. It's important to be careful with language. It's important to care.

Words have much more power and impact when they're used at the right place and the right time.

[Church]

As someone who uses the word in his own lexicon, I have to still admit that yes, this word is used way too often. It lessens the impact of the word, too, so it doesn't have the same impact when it does get used, in my experience. I am turned off by speech that uses flying profanities, left and right, nonstop. And once again, I use these words myself, under certain conditions and circumstances. In general, I find it to be evidence that people's vocabularies are lacking.

[grannyfranny]

bsbray, thank you for changing the title, etc. so my thread can be discussed. Obviously you understood and I truly appreciate your effort and solution!!!!!!!! So often it is just easier to enforce the rules no matter what. This is an example about what makes this an outstanding forum!!!!

I respect the insights in the posts so far and look forward to more.

[Rebel&Rocket]

YouTube...There are just so many platforms these days for people to let their "crazy" out. The democratization of information, like everything, has its good points and bad points. As the mother of a 9yo, profanity is one of the easier things to explain, which makes it (sadly) a lessor concern for me. I appreciate that my kids will have access to all the information they could ever want as they're growing up, but it's a full time job monitoring it to protect their childhoods.

[Dreamtimer]

When my son was little, the internet wasn't so easily accessible. We had dial-up then. TV was a problem. Even a 'family friendly' program like The Andy Griffith Show was not possible. Because of the commercials. Guns, violence and sex all side by side in commercials any old time of day. So, it was public television. That was the only safe TV choice outside of video tapes.

You Tube can be like reality TV, really base. I tend to go there for specific reasons. But I don't go to browse.

[grannyfranny]

Dreamtimer, wow I never thought about how much tougher it is with kids and the internet. My sister did not allow TV until her kids were some age or other. She told me that she was shocked because the kids still knew all the most popular games kids wanted for Christmas even without TV. I guess the kids wanted what their friends wanted (I never had any kids.) We also noticed the difference between us before TV was in homes and our two younger sisters who never read books except for required school books for homework. Amazing how deep social engineering goes even if a mom can stay home.

[Dreamtimer]

I know a 10-year-old boy who loves TV, Gameboy and has a laptop. He has limits on his 'screen time'. He loves to read and goes through books quickly. He's also on a competitive baseball team and is a pitcher. His favorite subject is math.

By the time my own son was a teenager, the internet was fast and easily accessible. I cannot be a parent who has to watch over every action of my child and try to control everything he consumes. So I parented with love, common sense, setting examples and teaching him to make responsible choices. This is no magic formula, just what worked for me. We never put filters on our internet access. We told him (his father did) not to clear his history. During high school he decided to limit his own 'screen time'. He developed judgement and responsibility and is now nearing college graduation. He has a long term relationship, is planning a future in biology and is on the other side of the country. That's the hardest thing for me.

He also tries very hard not to use the "F" word in front of me and if he does, he apologizes. This is not because I demand it. This is not because I get upset and offended. This is because he loves and respects me and doesn't want to be crude in front of me.

[modwiz]

Is there a conversation in this thread going on? I am having trouble finding it.

[Dreamtimer]

Modwiz, do you have any thoughts on the "F" word and it's use/impact? Does it have any power in your world?

You're not raising children (as far as I know). For those of us who are/have it's a directly relevant issue. You seem to be able to convey powerful ideas without cursing.

My responses were related both to the OP and it's replies.

[modwiz]

Modwiz, do you have any thoughts on the "F" word and it's use/impact? Does it have any power in your world?

You're not raising children (as far as I know). For those of us who are/have it's a directly relevant issue. You seem to be able to convey powerful ideas without cursing.

My responses were related both to the OP and it's replies.

F word works when used gingerly and for proper emphasis. It clogs language with uselessness when used in any other way. I do have an 18 year old son who I tutored on language usage. I always allowed him to use the word shit with me but, told him other people might find it "improper" and judge him and his parents as uncouth.

I told him in all other languages, the word for shit, is shit. English and its Puritanical influence have made for childish work-arounds for many simple words about the body and its functions.

Very often I find that using the f word is simply lack of other more descriptive and informative words that would elucidate the thought more powerfully and clearly. Many might say "fook that" as a dismissal instead of explaining why something should be given a pass. Indiscriminate use of the f word inhibits better language usage, IMO, and makes the speaker look poorly educated or a simpleton.

Used correctly, the f word is powerful because it carries an emotional content that careless use of the word does not impart.

[Dreamtimer]

Thanks, Modwiz. I'm so glad you said 'uncouth'. I thought about using that word.

My family and I spent some time in Ireland. A family friend there told us how they'd substitute an 'e' in the 'f' word. As catholics, cursing is bad. I looked at him and said, "Tony, we all ... know exactly what you're saying." He laughed.

I'm glad you acknowledged the power of the word. Congrats on having an 18 year old son. He's past the toddler and teen years. Two of the most dangerous periods, in my opinion.

We like to look for movies that don't have a lot of foul language. My husband in particular will complain that it's unnecessary to moving a film forward and just lazy writing.

[Liberty]

Hi Grannyfranny
I like your post but I also would like to know why you use your screename since you say you have no children? I am your age too and I remember 2 yrs ago when friends invited me to see The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Mellisa McCarthy. Now I love a good comedy and the clips they showed on tv made me want to see the movie...However, when I was in the theatre and had to watch it, I was appalled at the prolific use of the F word! It was so distasteful I could not laugh while everyone else was. I feel this word has great power used in the right way and at the right time. I use it myself when I am alone and really ticked off about an issue and say it in my head, lol.

I have let it fly a few times in my long life while in the company of a close friend in order to make a point of my level of frustration. Now it is blatantly overused in movies and cable (Bill Maher) and is a turn off to me. I could give a list of reasons why our youth uses it so early and so much. Day care. In my time women were able to stay home as a man's pay was sufficient. A mother raising children is such a big job and today it is a rarity that mothers stay home and are able to guide and teach their children proper manners. The internet has created online sites that use the word freely and children are generally unsupervised and have access to violence, sex and the F word.

It is sad to see morality disappear before our eyes. What I have done about all this is no longer listening to as much news. It is all filled with so much tragedy. I create my own space and have gravitated more to spiritual tools, music, getting in touch with nature daily by walking and watching films and documentaries that are inspirational.

Thank you for your post. I don't think I added many answers but just wanted you to know I understand and support you.

Have a great day!

Today

[grannyfranny]

Today, I have a nonbiological grandchild- the love of my life.

You have provided confirmation of a study I read some years ago: children develop their culture through their peers. Parents are only a secondary influence. Now I wonder if the internet has moved ahead of parents as the secondary influence.

Like you I am old enough to think about childhood a generation before mine. Before WWII, most kids were raised in farming communities and surrounded by grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. If a child was having a tough time about an issue with their parents, a relative's perspective often helped.

After WWII, many soldiers did not return to those communities; instead, they moved on to larger communities for better work opportunities. Those post WWII children did not have batches of nearby relatives as sounding boards and as TV arrived it was used as a babysitter.

Those who put a career ahead of baby making became the "soccer moms" who scheduled children activities. Their drive time mothering kept the kids away from drugs or so they said. Since they had little bonding time with their children, they weren't about to nag their kids for crude language.

Then divorce became more common. A woman didn't have to stay married to an abusive man when she had a job and income. More men became abusive because they resented women in the workplace and felt internalized guilt because they didn't make enough money to let the wife stay home. If they weren't the boss at work, now they weren't even the boss of the household. Manners and morals decayed. Exchanges of kids started being done at police stations because the formerly married fought even then.

Some writers claim this is part of a longer term plan by the Rockefellers. A second family income meant more money for their plans to destroy the nuclear family. Eventually The Powers That Be wants to let the state raise and indoctrinate the kids into the dumb downed slaves they want. That phase has begun as more and more social agencies take the kids because parenting has declined. The excessive use of the "F" word is symbolic of all the travails families face and you have helped me understand all the angles TPTB use to destroy our culture.

Modwiz, I like your post. It reminds me of my sister who confided that she didn't know how much she could drink at college parties so she only had one. That night they sat down together and my sister learned she could handle five drinks. The next morning Dad awoke with a heck of a headache!

Perhaps families need to make up a vocabulary game for "f' word substitutes. Could be good if the kids could catch the parents at it, too.
And it might be a good way to get at the underlining frustration that causes the use of the "F" word.

I thank you all. The next time I want to say it, it will help me search for what I really mean!!