That's because you are on the autism spectrum ─ many autistic people have difficulty with intimacy ─ and because of your strict Catholic indoctrination. I know what I'm talking about, because I too have had a strict Catholic indoctrination, and I too am on the autism spectrum.
The difference however is that I overcame the fear of that intimacy by the time I had my first long-lasting romantic relationship ─ actually, a few years before that already. And another thing that held me back was that ominous sword that hung over all of our necks at the time, "If you sleep with a girl, then she'll get pregnant."
So I waited until I found what I thought was the right one. Turned out quickly enough that she wasn't ─ in fact, she was a manipulative sociopath, but that's a whole other story.
You are once again trying to put a spin on what I explained so that it would fit your narrative. Don't do that. I've already told you that such entities do not and cannot look human.
The Catholic/Manichean view as that all things physical are evil and truth is only to be found in the spiritual realms ─ which of course mere mortals cannot access, and which must therefore be accessed through the mediation of a privileged caste of priests ─ is very, very wrong. It is socio-political deception and manipulation.
If you were not meant to have the ability to fully experience what it means to be human, then you wouldn't have been born as one. Of course, that doesn't mean you should indulge in the abuse of your physical existence ─ drugs, wild sex parties, violence, and whatever else is there ─ because the body is only a tool, and it's how you use it that matters. It's analogous to the fact that guns don't kill people ─ people kill people.
But you are here, in this reality, and it's the only reality of which you can know for certain that it exists and that it is real, because it's what you experience every minute. So embrace your mortality and enjoy your life, instead of depriving and suffocating your body ─ and with it, your brain ─ because of some twisted narrative from a self-professed guru with psychiatric issues who's got a channel on YouTube.