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Thread: Interracial / Intercultural relationships

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    Interracial / Intercultural relationships

    I couldn't really find a thread to fit this topic into, so I'm putting this into a new thread. I have always been fascinated by relationships (dating, marriage as well as friendship) that run across cultural and racial lines. Nothing interests me more than the similarities and differences between different cultures and how people bridge those divides that will inevitably separate them to find their common humanity, through the vehicle of love. Such relationships aren't always easy, I know that from personal experience, but they can be immensely rewarding and are the best way to learn about other cultures and people.

    These two videos about Japanese views on Western men and women are particularly revealing. It is interesting, that all of the Japanese women interviewed were open to dating Westerners, but none of the Japanese men were. I wonder if this is culturally specific to Japan or is a universal phenomenon that results from evolutionary pressures? When you live in Asia for a while, you do notice that interracial couples tend to be of the Western Man - Asian Woman variety, though there are exceptions of course. From what my gay friends told me, Asian gay men seem to be far more open to dating Westerners, than Asian straight men. I don't know about gay women, but presumably, it's the same. I often think about where these differences in attitudes come from.


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    Super Moderator United States Dreamtimer's Avatar
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    There are interracial relationships in my family.

    Religion is often the challenging factor (generally speaking).

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    Quote Originally posted by Dreamtimer View Post
    There are interracial relationships in my family.

    Religion is often the challenging factor (generally speaking).
    I've got someone in my family — well, as an in-law, technically — who got married to a Chinese girl now about 16 years ago. I normally don't have any contact with them because they are very distant relatives, but I met his wife 16 years ago at the 50th wedding anniversary of a cousin of my mom's. At the time, the Chinese girl didn't speak Dutch yet. She only knew Chinese and English.

    The guy had met her via the internet, but apparently they were serious about each other — which is not exactly common among romantic internet relationships — and after a whole series of mutual visits, they had decided to get married. They had two wedding ceremonies — they got married here in Belgium first, and then a few months later, they did it over again in China, making their marriage legal over there as well.

    I met her again a few years ago when that same cousin of my mom's passed away, and by that time, the Chinese girl did speak (a somewhat broken) Dutch. I actually had a bit of a conversation with her in Dutch, but then we switched to English because she understood that better. She and her husband were running a business together, albeit that I'm not sure anymore in what — I seem to remember that it was a family business the guy took over from his dad, and that it had something to do with construction, but I could be wrong about that.
    = DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR =

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    Senior Member NotAPretender's Avatar
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    Simple answer...Western men like Asian women because they make excellent fantasy sex partners. Asian women like Western men because their fantasy is the big ding dong that they don't get from their Asian partners...it's pretty straightforward really.
    "We are one thought away from changing the world!"

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    Quote Originally posted by NotAPretender View Post
    Simple answer...Western men like Asian women because they make excellent fantasy sex partners. Asian women like Western men because their fantasy is the big ding dong that they don't get from their Asian partners...it's pretty straightforward really.
    It's a bit more complicated than that. There are many factors at play. I think the Western media and entertainment machine, which essentially promotes a form of white supremacy, however covertly, has a large part to play in all this. There is clearly a racial hierarchy that is promoted by Hollywood and people of other racial backgrounds often feel underrepresented or marginalised. This is not so much true of black people any more, but it is certainly the case with Asians. You can see this with the Brouhaha that was created around the movie Crazy Rich Asians, probably the first Hollywood Movie where white actors only appear as extras. It is a terrible movie by the way, which I only watched halfway through, because it is set in Singapore (shouldn't have bothered). It is extremely rare to see Asians presented in any sort of positive way, if they do appear, it is usually as unpopular geeks or martial artists. That betrays a deep insecurity I think.

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    Senior Member NotAPretender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Chris View Post
    It's a bit more complicated than that. There are many factors at play.
    In the U.S. Asians aren't doing that bad on the hierarchy, in a left-handed fashion they are considered 'intelligent'. Harvard University has been embroiled in a lawsuit alleging that Asians are discriminated against in admissions because they are too good.

    Here are comments that have been quoted by the 'intelligentsia':
    "If we allowed admission based solely on academic qualifications there would only be Asians attending here (Harvard)"
    "No, we admit non-Asians over 'some' Asians because in general the non-Asians have better personalities" ...

    Say What!

    Anyway, what anybody might claim, love is sex, then it is ennui...


    Coincidentally, my daughter speaks Mandarin...I've suggested she go to China as a tech student to get free tuition...she's not much interested given that she's a fine arts major.
    Last edited by NotAPretender, 8th December 2018 at 14:46.
    "We are one thought away from changing the world!"

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    Quote Originally posted by NotAPretender View Post
    In the U.S. Asians aren't doing that bad on the hierarchy, in a left-handed fashion they are considered 'intelligent'. Harvard University has been embroiled in a lawsuit alleging that Asians are discriminated against in admissions because they are too good.

    Here are comments that have been quoted by the 'intelligentsia':
    "If we allowed admission based solely on academic qualifications there would only be Asians attending here (Harvard)"
    "No, we admit non-Asians over 'some' Asians because in general the non-Asians have better personalities" ...

    Say What!

    Anyway, what anybody might claim, love is sex, then it is ennui...


    Coincidentally, my daughter speaks Mandarin...I've suggested she go to China as a tech student to get free tuition...she's not much interested given that she's a fine arts major.
    That's a great idea, though in terms of education, Singapore's even better. I do have European friends who live in Beijing and they love it there, despite the air pollution and inedible food. They survive on imported vegetables and the occasional Mongolian barbecue (with imported meat). You can't eat anything that's produced in China, it's deadly.

    Singapore on the other hand is pretty much like living in London, except it's a lot more modern and advanced. They have a programme, where they'll pay for your tuition if you promise to stay in Singapore afterwards and work there for up to five years. My Chinese ex-girlfriend did that, she studied art. Although English is the first language of most Singaporeans, it is still a pretty good place to learn and practice Mandarin.

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    Senior Member NotAPretender's Avatar
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    I had a friend that lived and taught English in China...during the Cold War...he said it was a pretty paranoid part of his life. His background might have made him suspect, though. His dad was military intelligence during WWII. He had majored in Chinese history in college and later became an attorney. He traveled the East after graduating college, had a Japanese girlfriend (a former extra in Godzilla movies) and the rest of the 'thing'. For all I know he may have been CIA. He eventually was disbarred because of a rape conviction. It seems he had a cleaning girl...Hispanic immigrant...that accused him of rape. In our hometown he was toast. It is a very conservative community and his dad had been a 'liberal' judge and state senator with very few friends in the community. They threw the book at my friend...A quarter of a million dollars paid to the victim and a few years in prison. Not a very pretty picture.
    "We are one thought away from changing the world!"

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    In my family it's black/white and they adopted a little girl from China.

    Asians apparently are very strong in math compared to American students. All students admitted to Harvard will have stellar academics, they need to stand out in some way. They need something special/unique in their portfolio. Test scores aren't really central to admittance.

    Personally, I can't see why asians wouldn't have interesting and unique applications, just like white kids. It'll be interesting to see how this works out.

    The best bet these days is to go wherever you can get a scholarship, avoiding the student debt.

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    Amen to that, DT...

    I worry about my daughter, though...I tried to academically motivate her starting when she was a toddler. She went through school without ever studying...thanks to her mother..."She has to be well-rounded!". I gave her an I.Q. test designed for 10-year olds when she was 8. She maxed it out in half the time allotted. Seriously, she was doing geometry at 3 years old. In high school, she breezed through math courses that many other students simply scratched their heads at....but she has never been an academic standout...simply no interest, if not an active aversion to it (very much like her daddy unfortunately, and that is what I worry about...her genetics). I hope she gets past the anger her mother endowed her with. Her only realy interest is Art and is currently doing prepatory courses before she starts attending the very expensive Art school she was accepted into with some scholarship money. But she is dissatisfied with the very respectable University she is attending, the quality of her art classes, the quality of her fellow art students, and apparently the quality of her father...oboy...I hope things smooth out.
    "We are one thought away from changing the world!"

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    I've spent a lot of time wishing life was perfect. It isn't. I think I wasted that time. I don't do that now.

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    lol, ain't that the truth...
    "We are one thought away from changing the world!"

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    The accent might be a bit hard to penetrate at first, but it's worth the effort. Here's a Malaysian comedian (Half Malay, Half English) talking about the absurdity of racial and ethnic categories. As a background, you should know that in both Singapore and Malaysia, one must choose from one of the officially defined races in all official documents (Chinese, Malay, Indian and "Other" which usually means some sort of mixed-race category (such as Eurasian) or Caucasian) and this will be permanently recorded for quota purposes. The Chinese (like Jews in some other countries) tend to dominate business and academia, so ethnic quotas are upheld to ensure all races get a fair shot in various areas of life. In Malaysia, this quota system is used to discriminate against the Chinese minority (much like Numerus Clausus laws did in Hungary in the the 1920s and 1930s, against Jews) and is a hotbed of corruption. In any case, the video below gives a good overview of the absurdity of such racial categories in general.


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