I've just decided I'm going to create a new augmented-reality game, to be played by way of one's smartphone. The game will employ the smartphone's built-in high-resolution cameras to overlay game-specific visual elements onto the three-dimensional real-world environment of the player.
The objective of the player is to locate
Social Justice Warriors™ and virtually tag them on screen with a gender-neutral third-person pronoun. Every
Social Justice Warrior™ can be tagged up to five times, provided that they are being tagged by different players — only one tag per player is allowed for each
Social Justice Warrior™. Every time the player tags a
Social Justice Warrior™, they get ten (10) points.
One exception to the rule of five allowed tags per
Social Justice Warrior™ is when one encounters a
Social Justice Warrior™ of a specific type called a
Snowflake™, which can be encountered at random places in the augmented reality map of the environment.
Snowflakes™ may be tagged only once in order to not cause any trauma resulting from social stigma, but unlike with regular
Social Justice Warriors™, tagging an as yet untagged
Snowflake™ yields the player twenty (20) points.
There is however a catch: while attempting to tag regular
Social Justice Warriors™ beyond their maximum of five allowed tags simply results in an on-screen error message, any attempt to tag an already tagged
Snowflake™ will cost the player fifteen (15) points. Also, if the player mistakenly tags an individual who is
not a
Social Justice Warrior™, then the player will equally lose fifteen (15) points.
All throughout the game, the player will also encounter strategically dispersed virtual — i.e. on-screen-only — characters in either human or animal form that act as ChatGPT-powered interactive guides to where
Social Justice Warriors™ and
Snowflakes™ can be discovered, but here too there is a catch: some of the characters appearing as guides are actually
MAGAlodons™ — named after an extinct species of giant sharks — that will attempt to lure the player into tagging individuals who are not
Social Justice Warriors™ and/or into tagging an already tagged
Snowflake™, either action of which will cost the player fifteen (15) points, as explained above.
The challenge starts on the 1st of May 2023 and runs until the 31st of December 2023. On the 31st of January 2024, the three highest-ranking
and ten lowest-ranking players will be officially notified via email by a registered member of the US Democratic National Committee.
- The highest-ranking of the three winners shall obtain the indisputable legal right to freely drive around in one of Volodomir Zelenskyy's new Leopard tanks — albeit while respecting all locally applicable speed limits and other traffic regulations, of course — for the duration of one year. All fuel expenses for the Leopard tank shall be paid for by the citizens of the European Union.
- The two remaining runner-up winners will be given a chance to partake in — and film with their smartphones (in portrait mode!), so that they can upload it to their favorite social media accounts — the next sabotage of an international gas pipeline by an unnamed NATO member state, as well as an exquisite dinner at the best vegan restaurant in Taiwan under a fully protective armed escort from the US Secret Service.
- All three winners also get an autographed and framed A3-sized full-color photo of Joe Biden in an antiqued birdseye maple frame, and a lifetime free pass to attend all meetings of the US Trilateral Commission as a spectator.
The ten worst-scoring players will also be rewarded, albeit with a free lifetime membership at
Project MAGAlon™ — with a handwritten pledge from
El Sombrero™ himself that these members shall not be banned for at least five years, regardless of their online behavior — as well as a high-quality all-weather
MAGA hat and an autographed and stainless-steel-framed A2-sized color photo of Donald Trump in full
Orange Jesus™ makeup, and with his baldness tastefully combed over by the skillful hands of
Stormy Daniels Melania Krauss-Trump.
The game is called
Wokemon Go ®, and will be freely downloadable under the terms and conditions specified by the Creative Commons License.

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