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Thread: Humour thread

  1. #181
    Administrator Aragorn's Avatar
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    Source: ELSEWHERE


    THE COVFEFE VIRUS (2020): More dangerous than SARS and the Coronavirus





    An announcement today by WHO (World Health Officers) has confirmed that the Covfefe Virus is now a global pandemic as it spreads unchecked.

    The virus – which is considered an extreme and aberrant form of what was called Benito's Disease which appeared in the Thirties in Italy – has spread at an alarming rate in the past five years.

    It now infects most Western nations, areas of South America, Indonesia, Russia and the Middle East.

    Dr Mohammad Lee of the Institute for Research in Infectious Diseases in Bonn noted that Covfefe first appeared in isolated pockets in the US in 2015/2016 and seems to have been spread by a single individual.

    “Our Typhoid Mary of Covfefe, so to speak, seems to have been extremely mobile during that period and spread the infection into communities in the Midwest initially and then right across the continental United States.

    “It is an extremely virulent disease and unlike most others isn't solely spread by human contact. In fact, many of those infected actually self-isolate or congregate with those similarly infected.

    “What makes this virus unique is that it's transmitted by social media.”




    Symptoms of the disease were initially identified as arrogance, bullying, self-entitlement, congenital lying and a lack of self-awareness.

    Over a remarkably short period of time however these traits have morphed into sexism, racism, a proclivity towards violent acts with little or no understanding of consequences and the infected person's innate belief in themselves as being right in all circumstances.

    “The great concern now,” says Dr Mary Jean d'Arc of the Sorbonne's Infectious Social Media Unit in Paris, “is that through Twitter, various apps and algorithms which are instant and often seemingly persuasive, lies spread around the world like invisible drones while the truth is still eating its granola.

    “We have located a key player in all of this whom we identify only as DT@WHinDC, but it is the infected who are the most active in spreading this almost uncontrollable disease.

    “There are whole media networks which are very foxy in how they disseminate the misinformation which spreads the Covfefe Virus.”




    While no nation yet has gone into complete lockdown to prevent the spread of the virus some countries -- notably the US and Britain – are moving towards an isolationist policy, ironically not to prevent the spread of the disease globally but to embed it within their own borders.

    “By doing that Covfefe has the ability – through global media, travel of infected individuals and social media – to become even more powerful,” says Dr d'Arc.

    As the virus has mutated there have been off shoots such as the recently identified Quixote Disease in which the infected individual imagines dangerous monsters and giants where there are none, and Munchausen's Syndrome in which those at the most serious end of the spectrum believe themselves to be superhuman and capable of incredible feats, despite all evidence to the contrary.

    Rare individuals such as DT@WHinDC appear to have all of these.

    When asked how people can best protect themselves from Covfefe and its mutations, University of Bristol researcher Dr Fiona Greenbelt expressed frustration.

    “Christ, I don't know. Read a goddamn book? Get yourself educated? Don't believe the bullshit? These seem pretty obvious to me . . . but frankly it's depressing. This thing looks out of control now.




    “It's like this great orange-coloured dragon dragging a golf-cart full of psychotic dysfunctionalism which has mutant offspring with wild hair and profound self-belief in their own sense of what's best for everyone else. But, in truth, they are doing what's best for themselves.

    “It's a disease which began as a psychosis but has taken on a political and social dimension.

    “Seems madness is contagious after all. I'm heavily into self-medicating these days.

    "Got anything good and strong?”


    Source: ELSEWHERE
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  3. #182
    Super Moderator Wind's Avatar
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    Approach it with caution.


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  5. #183
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    You want a glimpse into the mind of Houstonians (Texas)

    A couple of monthes ago there was a fatal car crash during the morning commute which was reported online by one of the local TV stations. Here is one of the comments left by the readers...It was reported that a woman had been killed in the crash and decapitated.

    A poster left this: "What is that up in the road I see ahead" I was actually a little worried about my daughter because she hangs out in that part of town sometimes (The Asian community) but I laughed for 10 minutes at how appallingly in poor taste it was.

    But this goes on all the time...so, of course, I had to get an account...so far I've been giving this guy that has an avatar with a civil war uniform on and calls himself "Gray Beard" a dose. I give it hell at every opportunity...I know it isn't right but c'mon somebody has to defend the moral cause...he is obviously a moron and has no chance...some of the others I swear are professional comedians...

    LOL...talk about synchronicity...the avatar I chose for the news online account was...what else, Don Quixote.
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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  7. #184
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  9. #185
    Administrator Aragorn's Avatar
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    What baffles me is that I haven't heard anyone mention the obvious comparison yet: Donald Trump and Mike Spencer...: Donald (Duck) and Mickey (Mouse). The White House is obviously a Disney show!
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  11. #186
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    Hail f*cking yes... Disneyland - Starring Goofy and his transgender dog, pluto
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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  13. #187
    Administrator Aragorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by NotAPretender View Post
    Hail f*cking yes... Disneyland - Starring Goofy and his transgender dog, pluto
    Pluto was a transgender dog???
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  15. #188
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    actually yes...kinda, sorta...actually it's Goofy that is transgenetic...
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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  17. #189
    Administrator Aragorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by NotAPretender View Post
    actually yes...kinda, sorta...actually it's Goofy that is transgenetic...
    I used to think Goofy was a dog, but considering that Mickey and Minnie are mice, I figure Goofy must be a rat.


    P.S.: "Transgenetic" and "transgender" are not the same thing.
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  19. #190
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    poetic license, mannnn....
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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  21. #191
    Super Moderator Wind's Avatar
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    Talking about dogs, I think this fella prefers Samsung and Androids more.

    Note to Apple, I'm gonna switch to Samsung because your products and policies suck nowadays.


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  23. #192
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    I've hated apple since day one...but my daughter feels wedded to them...I lose...
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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  25. #193
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  27. #194
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    Lol, Aragorn. Those masks are awesome!

    Again, fine line between laughter and tears:


    Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b_QS4e31c8


    That pug is really funny.

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  29. #195
    Administrator Aragorn's Avatar
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    = DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR =

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