Humour thread

[Fred Steeves]

[Wind]

[Aragorn]

	Apathy Club meeting next Friday. If you're interested you're not invited.

[Aragorn]

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
-- Mae West

[Aragorn]

Reporter: Mahatma Gandhi:

"Mr. Gandhi, what do you think about western civilization?" "I think it would be a great idea."

[Wind]

[Wind]

[Wind]

[Fred Steeves]

[Aragorn]

This is hilarious.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI8UPHMzZm8

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB1yEcdomt0

[Aragorn]

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics' shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and he would just walk home. On the way home, he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 2703 Center Drive?"

The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot."

The old lady suggested, "Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Why thank you very much," he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he said, "Let’s take my shortcut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley, you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied…… "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens."

[Wind]

There are countries and then there is Russia.


Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYjExvm3xHs

[Fred Steeves]

A tomato, a cucumber, and an artichoke are walking down the side of road. The cucumber strays a little too close and wham, gets runover by a car.

The tomato and artichoke pace apprehensively in the ER as their friend has been rushed into emergency surgery. Finally, the surgeon comes out, peels away his mask, and says "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that your friend the cucumber is going to be okay, but the bad news, is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

[Lord Sidious]

A tomato, a cucumber, and an artichoke are walking down the side of road. The cucumber strays a little too close and wham, gets runover by a car.

The tomato and artichoke pace apprehensively in the ER as their friend has been rushed into emergency surgery. Finally, the surgeon comes out, peels away his mask, and says "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that your friend the cucumber is going to be okay, but the bad news, is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Yeah......................nah

[Aragorn]