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Thread: Leelas and Rants

  1. #46
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    Boy do I feel for you Mr. Nothing...that was tough!

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    I am sooo glad that you have a friend like that. Great story I have met a couple of healers like that in my time, one in Sydney and one here in the UK. Both helped me when I needed it most...who's to say we're not looked after, hey? And I also know a guy in Norway, that removed a smallpox virus from my heart, due to a vaccine. (Evil stuff), so that's three.

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  5. #48
    Senior Member Emil El Zapato's Avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Nothing View Post
    That's a poignant set of remarks Maggie. Lots of things were nail on head stuff. Diversion and distraction notions. Lead astrayness. I hardly soak in baths even though where I am has one. I want to now and then but have only done so 1% of the time! Its usually showers for me. And I don't go swimming very often at all any more.... hmm
    I'm a water person though, water sign even. When ever I am in my home town place of birth I spend a lot of the time at the beach. Barefoot in running water is good! But I don't even do that enough. Luckily here we can just plunge into the wilderness and not be bitten by any predators. Reading you talk about your endeavours was very warm and light. I'm quite receptive to those ideas and the experiencing of 'medicine'. With the adages of what dis-ease is.

    Monetarily, you made me recall how, early on in the internet 'conspiracy' media, there was someone? saying the greatest power individuals have over corporations is their consumer-ship. Voting with your patronage and money. Boycotting businesses.
    That the bottom line in making a company listen is sales.
    It hasn't really worked when people have tried it in recent years. Often a bit of a logistical nightmare. They/we have tried to boycott brands of petrol stations here for instance and there's no unity. Once maybe 8 years ago the truck drivers had a big protest about the manipulation of fuel prices and they had an organized rolling blockage of an arterial CBD freeway or motorway, but many of the public just wanted to be interviewed on TV complaining how it was disrupting their day of rushing around hunting money. Practicality vs Idealism.

    I''l have a rant.


    I don't really take medicines. Until recently I hadn't had antibiotics for nearly 30 years. I haven't exactly treated my body that well though. Mainly food laziness. Lack of food, excess grease, energy drinks. Smoking. Toxic work environment.
    2 years ago this month I gave up smoking and energy drinks. 6 weeks later I lost a front tooth. I gave up smoking by taking up vaping. What a surprise really, losing a tooth I thought was fine. Circumstances meant I went to a dentist while away, and was not made aware that I needed 14 or so pulled out. I was working on a job at the time when I found THAT out so things were quite hectic, but okay. It cost me close to 10k in the end, (with being sold a denture for 1 tooth, before told I was losing more).
    The process is a bit of trauma when you are only young for such things. The dentist was/is a good man. So by August that had all happened. My little 19 year old cat to keep me company, she was struggling away and I knew she knew what was going on, and one night had told me she was just going to stick around until the teeth were over.
    They got taken out on a Friday morning 8am, the on site denture guy meant it was meant to be a perfect marriage.
    I wont drag it out, he somehow supplied a full denture rather than a proper fitted partial one for the top. Which is like yep a really embarrassing mistake. I was sent home with the bottom denture and proceeded to flood the laundry, lose my wallet, start my mouth bleeding, and have to cut a huge clot out of my mouth with scissors.

    The denture fellow rang around 2pm, which is when I discovered the missing wallet which I never found for another 7 hours or so, then yep, found where I had thought I had looked. I'm just saying it was all the anaesthetic.

    Back to work Monday.

    Following Friday, there's a storm and my cat wants to go outside but I had deemed it was way too stormy.
    She was a real moody wee thing. Man, so many stories. Anyway she shot me the stare of all stares. She wasn't in the best of health, hyperthyroidism. And had got worse with her 19 year long madness over food. I just felt so bad, that I had locked the cat door, not thinking about our deal.
    I let her out and she didn't come back, couldn't find her until the old neighbours were making a bit of funny chatter and I cottoned on to them having found her. It wasn't good, it was ironic. Little girl had her bottom jaw broken in the front and middle. Close enough week to the day. It took me nearly an hour to drive 15 minutes to the vet. And it was all about me... the poor thing, I should have driven fast you know. But yeah, it was about US, she didn't really seem in urgent pain and I valued as much time as could be taken.

    Back to work Monday.

    The job kept things active and I got used to my teeth, my loss, still not smoking or drinking energy drinks.
    When it came to an end it was soon time to go down for the December holidays back home. Before that happened, I ended up getting my car rear ended when I stopped at a pedestrian crossing, and the offending car drove off, of which I ended up not getting any reimbursement to fix, so all in all 2016 was a very expensive year. But the story is actually hardly finished, last year was pretty amazing starting from the changing of the year. But I will come back on that perhaps. One thing would be that I hadn't really planned any of these events, I had just given up smoking on a whim, and run with it. It felt like I was being dished out an intensive course, being given help to go through a process. From December 31st of 2016 I also gave up vaping, as if it were a NY resolution, but that wasn't planned either, I got sick, and couldn't stand the smell of it so, also ran with that wave.
    That story I'll hold off with for a bit.. even though it links into some sort of theme.
    I can identify with that...yesterday one of my frontal teeth fell out...it was a crown and I thought you put on a crown and your done...hardly...

    Hey Nothing,

    Thanks for the left-handed cheer up...I'm heading to the dentist right now...in fact, i'm late

    This is the way it works in some lands...

    You steal my energy, you have to pay it back with some of your own...time is not linear...

    just joking, of course, I totally sympathize...
    Last edited by Emil El Zapato, 2nd May 2018 at 12:52.
    “El revolucionario: te meteré la bota en el culo"

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  7. #49
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    Quote Originally posted by Elen View Post
    Boy do I feel for you Mr. Nothing...that was tough!
    As I was reading, I was wishing I could give you at that time a warm secure blanketing feeling of love and sense of comfort. Elen said... very tough.

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  9. #50
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    Quote Originally posted by Nothing View Post
    Cheers for your concerns Elen, but it is fine honestly, plenty of people could make tougher stories and it is not about that, it is a celebratory story, well that is the intention, I am not entirely sure of the message, just putting out, in the general topic of health and well being and anecdotally so some of the words Maggie arranged for us before.............

    But, there it is, the greatest miracle I have been involved in. And they say they aren't done yet. Which people should be well happy about I think.
    Thanks so much. Miracles are not done yet. that is interetsing about the angry man, the hepatitus and your friend who could help.

    Quote Originally posted by NotAPretender View Post

    This is the way it works in some lands...

    You steal my energy, you have to pay it back with some of your own...time is not linear...

    just joking, of course, I totally sympathize...
    You are joking but that may be true? But maybe its not stealing but dumping that needs repaying?

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    Man, I used to be a space cadet like that. I never did anything like that, but I had the potential. I think I was ADD but the teachers (some of them) just said bad things about me when I was little. No one put me on drugs. What should have been done is focused teaching on concentration and awareness skills.

    I've had to train myself to be careful and endure laughs from others during the process. The worst is when people just assume you'll always be - space cadet, clumsy, fill-in-the-blank - and don't actually give you a chance to learn, or, God forbid, help you learn.

    And so people end up being surprised by me because they thought they knew...whatever they thought they knew.

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    Funny you should say that. In times of immediate crisis I have been the one with the cool head while my husband flipped out. I go into a sort of problem-solving mode, plus the instincts. They're paramount.

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    Senior Member Aianawa's Avatar
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    Me too, interesting that, in high octane panic times is interesting the death fear, also.

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    I like hearing the voices of Lao and Walter Russell because they were amazing beings.


    Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rISQ32KuHko



    Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h75BTk3oj4U



    Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WjSC99ih9Y
    Last edited by Maggie, 13th May 2018 at 04:13.

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    Quote Originally posted by Maggie View Post
    I like hearing the voices of Lao and Walter Russell because they were amazing beings.
    Sincerely I expect that each of us is travelling asingular path as part of One great energetic swirl. I am having such a hard time tonight reconciling this seeming fact with what to do about that with my people in my life. how to feel happy with whatever they choose IF I feel involved.

    Most of the time I would rather be alone because being a person relating, being with people who feel so different to me, then all sorts of contrasts feel awful.

    I have known a woman named Linda since the late 80's.We were not close close hanging out and never saw one another even for years. Then we came back together and I have spent more time with her lately. I do not understand her in many ways. She seems to be a magical person in someways and a complete Muggle in others. That is a judgement I know. I wish I did not have these judgements but I do feel rejecting of stuff people choose.

    One big fact is that she has body issues that lead her back again and again to being in pain and seeming to feel desperate. What I would have call a cold,she experienced as a terrible infection and was on antibiotics earlier in the year. I knew that I cannot convince her and have tried to focus where we meet happily. I do want to support her and I want community where we cooperate and she wants that too.

    Late Saturday she sent a desperate text saying she was in terrible leg pain making her cry and unable to walk and did I have anything that might help? I said nothing but the offer of massage. That wasn't what she wanted.

    Sunday she was still texting about her terrible pain and that she had cried all night. I had done some research and found out about wild lettuce. I have prickly lettuce in my yard and that is serriola versus the best another variety but still a very mild sedative and narcotic. I made some tea and took it to her... maybe it could help. While there she allowed me to do some touch and it was clear her pain was muscle spasm causing nerve related pain down her leg. She said the touch helped a little. I don't know if she drank any tea. But it was clear that she would need the chiropractor.

    I did agree to help with transportation because she first wanted to see the MD. Today she saw the MD who gave her some kind of injections. The MD validated she would get help with chiripractic. The one Linda sees was contacted and was kind of booked. But the THING is she already had decided she is too tired today and wanted to go home and see him tomorrow. I think he would have worked her in if she wanted really to see him today.

    MY PROBLEM is that this triggered rage in me towards Linda. The rage seems to be about WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE TOO TIRED TO NOT PURSUE WHAT MIGHT HELP. How can someone not seek that which might really help? That is a big general general trigger for me on all fronts.

    Seeing the chiropractor today AS WELL as TOMORROW seemed the one possible move that might be healing versus masking pain. She may have a hamstring issue causing the left leg issue. She has spasm in right buttock muscles and I think she was favoring the left side while doing something she does not recall and is unbalanced. I think this because the right leg where she has a knee replacement is swollen all along the leg which shows me it needed favoring when she was injured.

    I could not contain my angry reaction and I told her I was pissed about her waiting to see the chiropractor considering how desperate she had been over the weekend.

    I did not say but observed I am reminded me of a pattern for her of what seems almost a preference for catastrophe.

    I do not want to be involved with this episode and I don't like the pattern. If she wants to do anything, that is fine. My rage is about being witness. I know I am not in control of her. I don't want to control what she does but I don't want to be involved.

    It seems that I have a low tolerance for everything except what I like.

    Maybe that is Awful of me. I wish I did not feel she wants to pull me in. I feel I am standing near deliberate lack of self regard for what could actually help for a reason she has that is scary?

    It feels like this theme is about not really wanting to be well and strong. That is OK if I am not a part of the scene. How CAN I be OK with having friends I see as not aligned with what is important to me and asking me to observe it. I want to feel love and peace and feel strife.It is my problem and it really hurts.

    I so wish I could release the old rage of parents who were not on my wave length and the feeling of being helpless embroiled in their mess. In the past I Often thought I saw the way out of the situations others created but they wanted me to agree with their picture. It enrages me and I still feel unable to just let others be and have contact with their seeming self imposed suffering.
    Last edited by Maggie, 15th May 2018 at 06:26.

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    Last edited by enjoy being, 9th June 2018 at 01:44.

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    If you read the last post,this is what i want to say to the people in my life.

    Dear Linda,
    You are my sister. I feel tenderness for your welfare, I'd like to be intimate with you on a soul level, play with projects on a physical level and love one another so we feelcomfort emotionally. I see myself as an empath. I can feel what others are feeling and if I am close to someone as a freind, I feel stuff but cannot always tell WHO feels it? I have researched empaths and there is a down side to feeling a lot of everything. Pain is a part of human life. One may be tempted as an empath to try to fix pain in others so we can be comfortable. I see empathy and codependence as fellow travellers. That is a long and un-needed explanation.

    I am tempted to want to avoid intimacy because as long as I can be "objective", I am more comfortable.

    For instance I felt rage today and it was wanting to land on your decisons that you have every right to make. The rage is like all rage in my sinew. I can imagine it was there when born as I have always felt strength from anger and self defensive with it. Anger is a fellow traveller to empathy too. Anger undigetsted like when we have child hood unresolved anger gets enraging. I apologize for not being able to manage my rage. It just was choosing an opportunity. I forgive myself reluctantly as it seems wrong.

    It was wrong but I am not wrong.

    I do know that what I know about certain better actions being usefiul for resolving issues. Problem solving is enhanced by empathy. Empathy lets us feel a whole scene.We can feel what others feel so can sense what might "help"? But maybe finding the solutions are not my business?

    People don't need to be told anything about themselves to learn. But what is frustrating for me in a friendshipis the feeling of someonepulling me into their worldview because of the way they feel? Maybe there is "worry" rather than assurance. Anything offered is not going to assuage the deep worry.

    I will use my own example. I am talking about pain that is mine which comes out as migraines. I still have migraines but I reason with myself about what that means. Yes, I take imetrx because it works. I am not saying people should not take medicines. BUT I don't worry about them. I do what I do with them and go to bed. They last as long as they last. Seems like a purge as afterwards I am feeling very well,better than ever. All symptoms of anything are assuaged by my assurance that I am aself healing being.

    You mentioned that you worry about my migraines and think I should see what is going on...like with scans etc. I deflected that statement as I perceive it as un-necessary. But IF I was feeling worried, and IF I sought help and you had a solution, I'd be willing to be supported. But I also note that other people handle their pain differently where there is both a complaint and a seeming inability to expand solutions well.

    My biggest problem is that I no longer have faith in the allopathic "solution". Unfortunately every where I look I see it in my face that others are still believers (but often very disapointed). I think we are being persuaded to feel weak and needy and frail. I have faith we are strong and wellness in all areas IS what is natural. We can balance and heal and our own energy is VERY READILY connected to Divine energy which is inexhaustable.

    For migraine dissolution I am doing more neck work, posture and chiropractic adjustment AND emotional work. I want to be close but my emotions can get very prickly. I especially have a fear of getting suckered. One aspect of that is needing to set boundaries still with friends. Their discomfort transmits and I feel it. Rather than be codependent thinking I need to join with them (and be joined in my unresolved stuff), I am seeking to dissolve my pain AND MY need to make others feel better so i will feel better.

    My rage is not your problem and yet, I get triggered by feeling helpless yet somehow responsible. I have never felt helpless with my pain and suffering but can feel it when I feel others in a close relationship.

    Until such time as I am no longer triggered, I may need to stay out of scenes such as when a friend is in the medical mode. I can easily hang out and help build a deck or whatever project is happening. I can listen to people talk without an issue. But what I cannot do is be depended on to be of any use when a friend needs a nurse. That role is too close to the rage zone. I identify this no man land and am seeking to clean it up but its a debris field. I don't know if you use hooponopono but I do so I am sorry Divine (in you), Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you.
    Last edited by Maggie, 15th May 2018 at 08:00.

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    Quote Originally posted by enjoy being View Post
    Multiple energies clouding the path. Some are about gaining vantage and separation. Some are about others and their attachments. And within the others there are multiple energies which appear to be one thing but are another.

    There is a rule of thumb with compassion. It can turn to pity being the first consideration. But the essence is that the person of which draws in your pity has made attachments to energies which they themselves must deal with. The energies wish to stay with those people and the appearance of an angelic helper is of course not what they wish, so they will attempt a number of different things. They will defend their turf of what is a form of possession. They will do so by trying to muddy energies and cause linkages to the compassionate spirit who is not aware of that dynamic. Sometimes they will aim to eventually jump off the original host and attach to the healer. The affected will indeed be healed via transference.
    Transference is a very common aspect of these energies and yet it can go unlabelled even when it becomes obvious when its name is uttered.
    "Come share my load, partake in my misery". It is not always something that they are aware of doing, the parasitic energy will not let them remove those energies by earthing themselves, for that would be death to it, they are really wanting to not be disturbed and will anger at the out reached hand of help, but if the envelope is pushed the healer will be attacked in an attempt to neutralise or as said, multiply.

    These scenarios are tricky to centre yourself in and you will be bound to be tripped up here and there. When surrounded by people holding unresolved contracts with these energies, the energies can be more aware of you than you may be of them in their entirety, and they will be trying to compromise your power. Sometimes they see a person who holds compassion to help, as a catalyst to create conditions in which to feed, so this can be another reason for the seeming desire to be tricky.
    I wrote another post before yours. Thanks so much....very tricky indeed!
    Last edited by Maggie, 15th May 2018 at 07:58.

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    I get mad. Most people who know me daily don't know it/can't see it. I get mad at injustice. I get mad at hypocrisy. I get mad at double-standards and making excuses.

    There's a lot right now to make me mad.

    I want to talk to people. They don't want to listen. They need to be right. They even say so. We can't find solutions when people just want to be right and don't want to dialogue.

    I get so mad.

    I don't get enraged. I do get outraged. For me the difference is that enraged is out of control. Outraged is directly associated with injustice and unfairness.

    I'm losing faith in people I've known for a long time due to their double-standards, hypocrisy, and excuse making. They can't even recall what they've said and then they try to project or reflect back onto other people.

    This makes me sad.

    And then I get mad again.


    I do have outlets so that I don't just simmer away.

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    Last edited by enjoy being, 9th June 2018 at 01:44.

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