Chaos and the Anti-Thread

[Kathy]

It seems in death as well as life some can invoke bitterness, though...it's part of the legacy of a very conflicted human being (my father).

NAP, Do you imagine your father would invoke bitterness towards you? If you do, I would advise that you put forgiveness in place.

When I experienced a near-death experience in which I felt such happiness and joy but from which I was persuaded to return to life. After that experience, I waited to see the nun who had knelt at the foot off my bed and, when I did see her, all she said was, "Kathy are you trying to catch flies?" I have since felt that I had been lied to.

[Emil El Zapato]

NAP, Do you imagine your father would invoke bitterness towards you? If you do, I would advise that you put forgiveness in place.

When I experienced a near-death experience in which I felt such happiness and joy but from which I was persuaded to return to life. After that experience, I waited to see the nun who had knelt at the foot off my bed and, when I did see her, all she said was, "Kathy are you trying to catch flies?" I have since felt that I had been lied to.

That is a bit of a question but I would say undoubtedly my father was embittered about my existence...embittered but not hateful...there is a big difference. He was caught in an emotional whirlpool of no escape. All his kids bailed from the situation in different ways. My older brother is embittered and hateful...my younger brother is embittered but forgiving, not to mention dutiful. My sister was emotionally cast aside, and I'm bitter at times, philosophically forgiving, and thankful that he is at the end of his suffering on Earth. He was dealt a hand that was more challenging than he wished.

He died 60 years to the day as my mother...2 weeks before Christmas.


Are you trying to catch flies...that sounds about right...kind of like my dad's 'Don't take any wooden nickels...

[Aragorn]

NAP, Do you imagine your father would invoke bitterness towards you? If you do, I would advise that you put forgiveness in place.

When I experienced a near-death experience in which I felt such happiness and joy but from which I was persuaded to return to life. After that experience, I waited to see the nun who had knelt at the foot off my bed and, when I did see her, all she said was, "Kathy are you trying to catch flies?" I have since felt that I had been lied to.

That is a bit of a question but I would say undoubtedly my father was embittered about my existence...embittered but not hateful...there is a big difference. He was caught in an emotional whirlpool of no escape. All his kids bailed from the situation in different ways. My older brother is embittered and hateful...my younger brother is embittered but forgiving, not to mention dutiful. My sister was emotionally cast aside, and I'm bitter at times, philosophically forgiving, and thankful that he is at the end of his suffering on Earth. He was dealt a hand that was more challenging than he wished.

He died 60 years to the day as my mother...2 weeks before Christmas.

One's relationship with one's parents — whether they're still part of these mortal realms or not — can be quite complex and challenging. I recognize some of the bitterness you describe here-above, as my relationship with my own parents was equally complex and difficult.

They too were met with challenges in their life, and one of their ways of dealing with those was to take them out on my younger brother and myself. More so on myself than on my brother, really, because I was the eldest, and I was also a lot more docile and controllable than my brother. He had a much shorter fuse than I did, and he was both assertive and tactical in how he approached the difficulties at home. I was way too honest, and they knew they could push me around far more than what my brother would allow them to get away with. In addition to that, my brother was also far more outdoorsy than I ever was — I would just sit in my room and listen to music and/or play my guitar — and so he would always get the hell out of Dodge before trouble would break loose. He would jump on his bicycle and ride off, and they had no idea where he was going or with whom he would be.

I sincerely loved and respected my parents, but there was definitely a substantial amount of bitterness brooding within me, ànd within my brother. And in spite of my ability to empathize with their situation and my forgiving of their trespasses against me, I must admit that this bitterness is still very much alive within me today because of the damage they did to me. Being autistic, I had (and still have) enough problems of my own, and my high school years were especially traumatic because I was constantly being bullied and humiliated at school, every single school day of the year, for three years on end. And then at the end of the day, I'd come home from that hell, and right into another one. More humiliation, more insults, more false allegations, and more "You will do as I say because I say so and you're living under my roof."

I rarely ever talk about any of that stuff, in part because it's all in the past now, and in part because I'm autistic and I tend to just bottle it all up within me. I am now much more eloquent than I was back then, as well as that at over half a century old, I can now also put things into a much better perspective than when I was a teenager or a young adult. But that damage to my personality has been done, and I still have to live with that every single day of my life. And that is why the bitterness will never completely disappear.

Some wounds just never heal.

[Emil El Zapato]

yeah, that all makes perfect sense to me...Talk about being in a storm and having no port...it is just unfair for any human much less children...One thing I've noticed is that if an abused child is able to overcome the challenges that their parents heap on them the parents will always point to their own 'good' job. Bull, an inner happy child is the ONLY thing that is representative of good parenting. Which is why I suffered so much watching my daughter growing up under her mother's 'excellent' parenting.

[Emil El Zapato]

The Chinese landed a module on the back side of the moon today! Wow! I can't wait for the pictures!

[Dreamtimer]

I'm bemused by the apparent obsession with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

And the YUUGE disconnect between calling her a commie and having a President who's now praising the former soviet union for invading Afghanistan.

This isn't cognitive dissonance. This is way way cray cray.

[Dreamtimer]

I'm anti-unnecessary war, which is most of them.

An NBC contributor/commentator has resigned and written about the network's pro-war bias.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVbi4axKBYQ

[Dreamtimer]

This is a weird synchronicity.

I was looking at the most recent Veritas interviews. One that caught my eye was of Russell Brinegar. The synopsis reads:

Following a near-death experience that prompted a personal awakening to the underlying, interdimensional nature of reality, we discuss insights into the realm of the paranormal. Ghosts, cryptids, flying saucers, and ufonauts. UFO lore and its societal impact are analyzed, along with the symbiotic relationship between science and science fiction. We willl examine the mission of the flying saucers regarding the impending technological Singularity, the advent of sentient artificial intelligence, and Transhumanism, all predicted by futurists to occur sometime between 2045-2080. We give you food for thought regarding Earth's UFO mystery, and the ultimate cosmic destiny of humankind.

So I did a search of his name. And a link came up to the Urania Book (paper 106) which you just brought up, NAP.

So weird. I can't figure out the connection to Russell. There's nothing about him on the page about the book.

[Emil El Zapato]

I'm very powerful DT...

Here's a one off...

I paid a pretty penny for some night vision goggles...I'm going hunting for those creatures hiding in the non-visible light spectrum...



What's interesting about the pro-war thing. The Generals versus Trump ignorance is what is driving the bias. Truly a failure of media. The 'wrongness' of war has been lost in favor of expediency. If we can get past Trump, then life will aright itself and the liberals will go back to anti-warness.

[Dreamtimer]

But the media is about money, not being liberal. They were helping to beat the drums which led us to take our eye off the ball in Afghanistan and go into Iraq where there were no such weapons of mass destruction that the media kept going on about.

And the media is also parroting Trump's statements and tweets again and again and again. Now, he is the President... But the approach could be quite different.

[Emil El Zapato]

that's a valid point but no one ever said they are smarter than us...

[Emil El Zapato]

If we're gonna do it...by God...let us do it right!

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIUVa4vH-CE

[Emil El Zapato]

Another gem from 3 days ago. The amazing assbackwards thinking portrayed in this video is absolutely breathtaking.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6puM4TV18o

[Dreamtimer]

I'm very powerful DT...

Here's a one off...

I paid a pretty penny for some night vision goggles...I'm going hunting for those creatures hiding in the non-visible light spectrum...



What's interesting about the pro-war thing. The Generals versus Trump ignorance is what is driving the bias. Truly a failure of media. The 'wrongness' of war has been lost in favor of expediency. If we can get past Trump, then life will aright itself and the liberals will go back to anti-warness.

Tom DeLonge (who?) said that he had to get clearance for the level of night vision goggle he had. But that was a couple years ago. Are yours state of the art?

[Emil El Zapato]

No, that would have cost me about 10,000 dollars. Out of my price range for sure... I paid for an earlier generation at a fraction of that cost.