I resigned my position as a deli associate in a large grocery. Leaving is fueled by anger. I wonder what will happen next? I imagine the mantra:
"A wonderful job
With wonderful pay
And wonderful people
In a wonderful way."
I have some very definite ideas about what I value in work and other aspects.
I know I am opinionated and LIKE my opinions.
My values are different in some major ways from the Ingles culture of the grocery.
I feel that this kind of culture is very disappointing and I look down from my nose pointed in the air.
I think I am RIGHT.
In no order of importance I am appalled by the grocery's corporate decison to throw away mass quantities of unopened past sale date food.
I hate the nothing given in communicatiion and lack of sharing of information like deliberate training and what to expect in change and as team?
Being a team is not encouraged.
I despise not being SEEN as a person.
I feel thwarted to contribute.
I want to feel satisfied in my daily life.
I think I am a bit high in expectation.
Light heated lack of concern is a goal but I am very tense all the time. I am not easy to relate to as are "good ole girls". I admire people who are socialized but really I don't want to be and feel tense. Being a bit unsocilaized is NOT IMO being autistic. I think my wiring is a little unique and ALL our wiring is unique. So being unsocilaized allows space to aim at life true to self.
I like the way I am except it feels really uncomfortable but that is helpful really.
Maybe my triple Aquarian birth "wheel" has me LOVE humanity but be a little impersonal.
I actually long to be more personal. I feel I just don't understand "just hanging out" relaxed and in rapport with people.
I LOVE systems. I love imagining sound and healthy systems. My ideas make sense to me.
I BELIEVE I have a good idea for a particular business system. It has to do with garbage. What I imagine easily is the results. I see 100% recycling of all garbage. I imagine a "company" of well appreciated invested workers sorting out where to put trash. I imagine the machine of Pyrolysis being used to turn plastic and yucky waste into oil and biochar.
I imagine chipping and shredding of wood limbs. I imagine finding where to use all parts of waste. I imagine NO landfill and no toxins.
It seems to me that I have a good idea for a company that takes workers, machinery and tools plus a place to sort and OF COURSE a garbage truck is on the list.
I see it as a heavenly technology and maybe it will take a heavenly co-creator? Maybe I need to get even more woowooo in action. Maybe I need to get more practical AT THE SAME TIME and I NEED TO PHYSICALLY RELAX.
I know I need to focus on how to BE part of a heavenly team.
ALSO< What I believe is that this will take money. I feel good thinking of an idea but not so excited by executing the plan.
There is definite home work requested.
It seems to me that each of us SHOULD be committed to living our values. That is what I mean when I talk about the Fishers who lure us and catch us up before we learn to be swimming in freedom. We can definitely be lured to adopt values that do not ARISE from the inside out
The reason I love the idea of Recycling is because I enjoy that as an ideal.
I feel it is deeply part of what I love.
I contradict myself.
I live in some clutter. My own life is not shining in my day to day. I have not been true to my vision.
I am looking at my anger about how to stand the irritation gf being where it goes against what I like.
I have been chronically ****ed.
Anger energizes destruction and IMO it CANNOT ever Build anything.
I SEE anger only good for me to make me leave a situation that makes me so hot and bothered.
Well, wherever we go, there we are.
I value building something so I guess I need a real let go of anger to move ahead.
I wonder if anyone else
1. wants to live in a way that just seems "right" with others to build something "satisfying to live in".
2. Is still not there in that "community" and wondering "HUMMM" ( IS it my responsibility to be the ideal member?)
3. Curious about how to "change one's mind" and create the valued reality tunnel?
Rambling on in my long posts, Maggie