This girl... what a powerful video and message!

[MrCasual]

This girl... I see so much aura within her and around her as she talks.

I am there with this message.


https://www.facebook.com/whoisshi/videos/959736817411235/

[Param]

Grateful I am that you felt to post this. Prompted I was to post the video to my e=group and 'special friends'. This is part of my brief accompanying message ... "... Horrid, isn’t it, that bullying can even exist in our world. Exciting, isn’t it, that a young woman makes a 2+ min video about … consciousness really … " Thank you ... with love ...

[Coral]

My question is: 'What is the difference between a 'bully' and a victim?
And playing one or a t'other or both...
how can you spot the difference?

I did not like the 'unspoken' message of the person in this video. For me, it sounded like she was promoting being a victim,
and in the same breath, saying there is merit in being so (a victim). In fact her language also alluded to thus.

If need be I can come back and go over what I interpret as victim speak - point by point, if need be. I am feeling lazy at the moment :)

However, can anyone else see what I see?

I embrace other people's opinion's on what I have stated thus far,
if I am incorrect, I'd like to hear from you; equally so if you agree.

[Dreamtimer]

I didn't see any promotion of being a victim. Her statement about people was very revealing. We don't see others, we see reflections of ourselves. I experience even close family members grossly misinterpreting something I've said and it has nothingto do with what I was thinking or feeling and everything to do with their own minds and perspectives. They reflect their own thoughts or feelings onto me when they should know better. They've known me all their life. My response is to literally tell them that I don't appreciate having thoughts put into my head and feelings put into my heart that aren't there and that I'm not going to let them put me in that position. I'm not taking responsibility for their misunderstanding. If they have a problem with what I said, it's their problem.

What she was saying is that the bully is the victim because the bully sees what he/she doesn't like in him/herself. That's why she says, "I'm sorry." Sorry that bullys are so weak that they have to pick on others, sorry that there are bullys, sorry that the bullys can only help themselves by looking in the mirror which is very unlikely. It's pity.

[pointessa]

I am beginning to suspect that her message "that we are not responding directly to the actions or words of another but to the reflection of ourselves" is really what is happening in all interactions. I have used this as a sort of spiritual tool for years now.If someone or something is really bothering me I look at myself, because it is always about me. Sometimes it is really easy to determine, sometimes not, but if I can figure it out it is a stepping stone for spiritual growth.

[Dreamtimer]

Interestingly, the person who taught me this concept -reflecting ourselves onto others- could never stop doing it herself and it ended up really limiting our relationship. Another one I know who has traveled the world seeking wisdom did this kind of reflecting to his dying day - calling someone who was trying to help him a lost, dark, hurt, hurtful soul. He certainly wasn't that to his core but those feelings were at the heart of his problems. It's sad. Waking people up is a difficult/impossible task. They have to wake themselves up. It's really easy to see how to fix others' problems. Really hard to with our own.

[RealityCreation]

I am beginning to suspect that her message "that we are not responding directly to the actions or words of another but to the reflection of ourselves" is really what is happening in all interactions. I have used this as a sort of spiritual tool for years now.If someone or something is really bothering me I look at myself, because it is always about me. Sometimes it is really easy to determine, sometimes not, but if I can figure it out it is a stepping stone for spiritual growth.

I absolutely agree with you Pointessa & I've taken the same approach for years. It is a very useful tool. I see everything as my responsibility & my creation & my projection of my consciousness.

[Coral]

I have enjoyed all points of view on this thread, particularly dreamtimer and pointessa,
both have given much to reflect on.

My ego wants to join in :)
but my response sa ability is to..
acknowledge

I may need to revisit the video again...
just to quiet the mind,
oh, their mind,
again :)

[Dreamtimer]

I revisited the video. I also watched one of her singing. What a voice!

[gardener]

I am most grateful for this thread as I have thought myself a victim for many years. One by one I lost all of my family members losing my adult son was the most difficult, I was drowning in grief even my little dog you see as my avatar died a few weeks ago, now i know that grief is a natural process, but I was feeling like a victim coupled with guilt (could have should have) feelings tearing me up, I even burdened the good people here on TOT with a sadness I seemed unable to cope with, I humbly apologise to all of you, each of you keeping me afloat with your compassion, this thread along with a few others has made me realize i am not a victim it's like i have just came out of a self induced coma. thank you seems like too feeble a word to say to you, but straight from the heart i really want you all to know i am very GRATEFUL. I hope I didn't go off course here, but there are many kinds of victim's this thread just seemed to trigger something inside of me, because i was victimizing myself. sorry i have went on so much. respectfully gardener x

[Cearna]

To linger in sadness can help you to begin to live again. The essence of feeling good, can sometimes linger all life long. It's a question of how much longer can you can you continue to live in Soul sickness. There are many ways to stop life, whilst still being alive, I suppose I've tried a great many of these over my many years. It's not the final life that's important, to clear a Pathway to give yourself back into life is not the easiest, but can end in risking the anger of those expecting many sorries, or worst of all "This is not to be done to me again". This is working in the victim mentality.

Now the bully, is the basic dementia victim, as they are often your very best friend. One of these friends of mine, stunned me when I was just talking about some of the experiences I had recently gone through at my awakening. Mind you these were not the normal experiences of those times, amongst the many experiencers on forums these days, it would probably be par for the course. I admit I was overly excited because so much was beginning to improve for me, and several times she suddenly said "there you go again, putting me down". This was not in my thoughts whatsoever, and I worried about this over again. This is a bully of indistinguishable means to settle life's differences with. In this case, the onus was put upon me to clean up my act and make her feel that she had no reason to feel put down.

I will often speak of my final Higher Self (The 7th in the long line of Higher Selves we have- I have a thread on the 7 Higher Selves) he came down from Above to walk at my side, and asked to be called Ivan. His words are so applicable to this thread. He finds no reason to feel suborbinate to any one else's belief in my own shortcomings, or in fact my achievements. This is the work of your own Soul and your own Higher Self.

The inner Self is a work in construction, the open heart can feel too much at times. The first thing he offered in help to me was this :

Ask Soul to merely look at the situation first of all. It is the challenge - if it feels life, always was some one else feeling like you are to blame, and your soul believes you are not - that is whose to blame- the someone else.

If it feels, you are this time partly to blame, then it expects you to clearly be inside the Self, and 'fess up to what you've worked too hard to prevent at the other mind challenges to your Sovereignty. This is now your sorting it to your Self gift. Then risk allowing the Soul to show you what it hoped you would do in such a circumstance. then do what should have done, from then on, you should not, in fact encounter the problem again if you do this.

If the soul feels you are really to blame, then it is so clearly a case of searching inside to fix it up.

This all then boils down to, if it is their problem, don't persecute yourself any more - if it is yours to look into then do so and sort it out, so you will not need to go through this any more. It is not always easy to recognise a repetitive pattern and here hopefully your real friends will help you out.

However, being in doldrums, is another story - it is a real fear you are encountering in most cases - often finding yourself, really alone, and this is working from a whole different emotional base - for sensitives, find aloneness terrifying, especially if it was a very loving relationship, and everyone works on this in different ways. However, compassion is required until the person is "lost" , the real life makes life emptier than before, then extra tears might be best, for otherwise dis-ease sets in and you then have two problems making life feel unable to cope with.

[gardener]

As always Coleen beautifully said I shall take time to read this again so that it sinks in thank you for your wisdom Colleen, warmest regards gardener x

[pointessa]

I am most grateful for this thread as I have thought myself a victim for many years. One by one I lost all of my family members losing my adult son was the most difficult, I was drowning in grief even my little dog you see as my avatar died a few weeks ago, now i know that grief is a natural process, but I was feeling like a victim coupled with guilt (could have should have) feelings tearing me up, I even burdened the good people here on TOT with a sadness I seemed unable to cope with, I humbly apologise to all of you, each of you keeping me afloat with your compassion, this thread along with a few others has made me realize i am not a victim it's like i have just came out of a self induced coma. thank you seems like too feeble a word to say to you, but straight from the heart i really want you all to know i am very GRATEFUL. I hope I didn't go off course here, but there are many kinds of victim's this thread just seemed to trigger something inside of me, because i was victimizing myself. sorry i have went on so much. respectfully gardener x


Gardener, you seem to be such a gentle, kind soul. I can't speak for anyone else but I am honored when someone shares their grief and sadness with me. It is no small thing to loose your child or your dear animal friend. I have lost a child and animal companions as well and it is heart wrenching to the depths of the soul. Over the years I have come to have gratitude for any connections I have with other living things. When I was younger I took those connections for granted. So when I feel a connection as I did when I read your humble post, I was honored and I thank you for being so open and vulnerable.

[Cearna]

I am most grateful for this thread as I have thought myself a victim for many years. One by one I lost all of my family members losing my adult son was the most difficult, I was drowning in grief even my little dog you see as my avatar died a few weeks ago, now i know that grief is a natural process, but I was feeling like a victim coupled with guilt (could have should have) feelings tearing me up, I even burdened the good people here on TOT with a sadness I seemed unable to cope with. respectfully gardener x

The first thing is, this is sorrow, my lovely one, we find inside the heart, the heart strings live on. the first thing in sorrow, is to give it it's right name, you cannot possibly blame a heart for feeling love on a grand scale, that is why you are on TOT, because all of us oldies were repositories of grand scale love for others, but we are also the few from out there in the world who feel love when it is given, that is now why you and those of us who have stayed on, are so necessary in a place like TOT. There was something Sooz said to me on my birthday that really speaks, and it was some of us like to give, and others need to realise this. In the grand scheme of things, way back I realised that we all had something to give, finding what that something is, and actually being able to give that out, is what this learning process on Earth is about.

When in fear do we lose the most, it is when someone is not there to give that love to, it brings an emptiness into your heart and thus your Soul. That emptiness leaves for the most part (just a corner of the heart is always filled by those whom you loved so much) when in fact you find another place to pour out that give you have to give. I can assure their is no shortage of people just aching to receive that very gift of yours, even the givers find many time in their lives when they must sit back and ask - please someone come and show me that I am not wasting my time, that I am not uselessly pouring out my need to give and it seems, as if no one out their feels my need to feel as if I am useful - this is when you come in, and pour out your heart to us and we both feel the need to live on and give. I noticed in Modwiz's words to Sooz, he is feeling this, so am I and so I"M sure is Ria and Shamanseeker and Sandy, and Mojo and Tonz, I can't go on mentioning you all who have been there for so long, but I believe in my heart that the energy of TOT moved (with the new influx of members) from the heart centre we had all felt comforting to move into at last, into a more mind centred need for knowledge which somehow began to feel very strange to us.

The inner Self feels it's lost the inner Self, and in role play, in life, each begins again, many times, but the heart lives on, and in fact can grow more and more expotentially, as we find newer avenues to explore in our need to give. So please all you new people to this forum, reach out to all of us, get to know those to whom you have joined your energies and come with heart in hand, we want to meet and love you it's just we've all just suddenly had to put many into that little corner of our heart and we are in need or your own recognition that this is painful, but will pass and we will be here for you, just show us we too are needed.

For all of you, find the gift of yours to give and start giving it, if you feel unable to do so then your Soul begins to wither away, in actual fact - take love given freely, that is a huge gift to the giver, we send you our love.