FOE*HAMMER
10th April 2015, 09:57
So I'm going through some "crazy" things right now, hopefully I'm just going crazy.
**Am I living the series "Sliders"? ( I was never a big fan of the show, but neat idea I guess until you feel like your living it)
Have you ever had reverse dejavue? I have several times and once this week, which is the craziest yet. I don't get the feeling I've done something before, but rather very clear and mundane memories which could not have happened in the universe I reside in currently.
The first time I was looking at an interior decoration in my mom's house I had very detailed and clear and matter-of-fact type memories of removing with my best friend. They were decorative fake cross beams that went across the ceiling. They look like real wood but I correctly remembered they were instead Styrofoam inside with a painted plastic shell, which I reconfirmed by getting on a chair and poking one in a hidden corner. I inspected them all, and they all were undamaged and sealed to the ceiling in the original paint from when they were installed sometime in the late 80's if I had to guess. My friend had no such memories when I brought up some things I remembered we had talked about the day we took them down (we often wind up doing odd jobs for each others parents) He remembered coming over for a visit (85mile drive) but never did help on any jobs at the new place. My mom said she didn't really know why she had never taken them down because she had planned on it, called around to find someone to do it with no luck, to "lighten up the room" because the beams were very dark brown. I've tried to tell myself it was a dream or a similar job, or just faulty memory, but it doesn't add up.
The second time I was driving some friends to the airport, and discovered a traffic light I knew for a fact wasn't there the day before, because I was planning on going shooting at the dirt road turn off, which was now a giant traffic light with paved roads that had been repaired they had been there soooo long. This was also when my girlfriend started saying I had changed (lol nothing strange there but the timing) and brought up things I had never done, as if I knew what she was talking about (intimate dating with a certain woman before her, whom I had only taken to lunch once before my girlfriend even knew me, and this other woman was very cute but totally bonkers and mean and clingy so I never spoke to her again after the one lunch)
Now this week I was watching the kids show "mighty machines: at the race track" with my 3yo son, only it was a different episode altogether than the last time I watched it with him. Last time it was F1 race cars, Pennzoil, and Duracell teams were supporting characters I remember thinking it must have been a big deal for Canadian public TV who made mighty machines to get big name racers, and they had a team that had no main sponsor (named after the owner) as the star of the show, I could draw you the story board, and tell you about 10 things I learned about F1 racers I didn't know before I saw the show (I'm not a race fan). My son has been watching that show since he could say "broooom brooom" and carry a toy race car, we've been watching other shows (Curious George) a few months now, but if you have kids you know about memorizing silly TV shows when your kid wants to watch it over and over everyday, several times a day. The story was similar, the voices were the same actors and actresses with different lines, same era and time frame, it even must have had the same story board, the camera shot sequences were the same, but a different race altogether, and it was dinky little go-cart sized indy-cars in the wiki it calls them "f 3000" class racers, I had no idea these existed until the show changed. I thought I was just confused because in the "new" episode the secondary race car is a yellow no name car which maybe I just thought was Pennzoil, but I re-watched it and she has almost no role, and there used to be this whole dialog I remember about being on the hydraulic lift tailgate to "take a rest" between races and in the new one these f 3000 cars are so small their truck trailers don't even have hydraulic lift tailgates. I just spent 2 hours looking for anything about a second version of the episode and according to everything I can find this is the original and only episode filmed in the 90's.
This would all add up if I was just nuts I guess, but this isn't like I think I'm claiming to be Napoleon, or the real living Elvis back from Mars or something. Its all too clear and detailed to have been dreams, I have no history of anything like this.
I could be totally bonkers I know, I actually wish I could just believe that, it would be easier to deal with. As far as I can tell, I have depression but have never been this off about things. I never thought I would wish I was just crazy. The best thing I think of other than I'm living out the sliders show, with out the fun chrome tunnel ride, is that maybe reading about John Titor and having been day dreaming about black holes and wormholes my whole life made some vivid dreams like I've never had before or like detectives talk about how people's minds make up details later on. But either I can't trust my mind or my reality, not a cool choice. Not cool at all. I actually feel like I don't belong here now, its possible I'm being messed with hence the next parts...
Shadow people? MILABS as shadow people maybe?
I'm also hoping someone may know if MILABS ever use a shadow people disguise for abductions? A few months back I had a night terror where a shadow person clearly in an Air Force barracks cap and class-b windbreaker jacket (from the distinctive outlines) came in my dream/room and reached into my chest where I could feel him fiddle around in there, it didn't hurt, but it felt like it should have and I still felt it after I was able to move again. I been having harder times emotionally since then. I have had other experiences with a completely different shadow person visiting my girlfriend, who claimed to be living and over 500,000 years old, and thought I was insolent for having the nerve to speak in his presence, but the air force one was all busyness, looked at me long enough to see I couldn't get up, then went to work,... in my chest, and left me paralyzed shortly when he was done.
**"bad" Andromans?
I've had 3 lucid dreams now where some kind of blue humanoid is involved and its not pleasant. The first time a freind next to me in my dream asks about all the clouds really being space ships over head and I told him " Oh, those? That's the Andromedans they're the bad guys." At the time I was reading Collier and Tolec, so it felt weird when I woke up and remembered what I said, and in a lucid dream no less, although the dream did turn bad, which was my first bad lucid dream my others had all started scary and then I woke up but was still in the dream so I went and had fun, this time it just made the dream more scary when I knew I was dreaming but had no control, and was being beamed up into a ship I really didn't want to go to for some reason, because "look at that shape it's a warbird all right". Another time involved being taken out of a dissection room by a blue alien an into an orphanage for gifted children being run by the blue alien, I somehow knew the "other kids" were all gifted and being collected, but I didn't know why I was there I had no talent. The alien wouldn't let me leave and all of us children ( I'm 41) felt we had to stick together (except for the pretty ballerina twins in pink too-toos, they were proud to be there for the shoes I think). The last lucid dream it was the place I was in that tipped me off that I was dreaming, but as soon as I went to fly away, a blue alien showed up and grabbed me, and I woke up screaming and convulsing is all I remember after that, woke the baby too.
So, anyone have something similar? I figure if not I'm less likely to get trolled here for sharing. Since it feels like I'm getting messed with anyway, I can't see me getting it worse for talking about it other than public ridicule.
Any information anyone (Corey or someone in the know) can provide would help. Any advice from anyone with anything similar would help, I am low on available friends at the moment. My life is in shambles, which sucks for me but its gotta be even harder on my boy, he needs a daddy who doesn't scare him at night, isn't sad all the time, and can function in life again. Thanks for reading, any discussion would help at this point, I'll even take the ridicule. I'm just crazy aren't I?
Any questions would probably even help, maybe some fresh perspectives. Maybe I just forgot how to google and the other race car episode was there the whole time?
I guess I kind of hope I'm just crazy because if I'm not, then I'm guessing I'll probably never get home due to the nature of the multiverse, (not because of the series but the real physics of it) I think I'd rather know I was safe and sound and a little off my rocker but with my original friends and family, than to think I'm in some other version of my life, where people remember a different me, who did things I never did. I know any modern doctor would love to tell me I'm nuts, and here's a hundred pills a day to take, and they'll get me back to work at wal-mart in no time, but these memories are as real as the nose on my face, and the all the details too. Oh, and people find my deception skills laughable at best, I can't get away with anything because I can't lie very well at all. I don't think I've gotten away with anything in my life, I give myself away everytime. Anyone who knows me would agree and say something like but that's a good thing and that's one reason I like you. Flattering and insulting at the same time (to me anyway, just see what happens when you can't lie and you get asked if this horizontally stripped moo-moo makes me look fat by your girlfriend, problems ensue.)
**Am I living the series "Sliders"? ( I was never a big fan of the show, but neat idea I guess until you feel like your living it)
Have you ever had reverse dejavue? I have several times and once this week, which is the craziest yet. I don't get the feeling I've done something before, but rather very clear and mundane memories which could not have happened in the universe I reside in currently.
The first time I was looking at an interior decoration in my mom's house I had very detailed and clear and matter-of-fact type memories of removing with my best friend. They were decorative fake cross beams that went across the ceiling. They look like real wood but I correctly remembered they were instead Styrofoam inside with a painted plastic shell, which I reconfirmed by getting on a chair and poking one in a hidden corner. I inspected them all, and they all were undamaged and sealed to the ceiling in the original paint from when they were installed sometime in the late 80's if I had to guess. My friend had no such memories when I brought up some things I remembered we had talked about the day we took them down (we often wind up doing odd jobs for each others parents) He remembered coming over for a visit (85mile drive) but never did help on any jobs at the new place. My mom said she didn't really know why she had never taken them down because she had planned on it, called around to find someone to do it with no luck, to "lighten up the room" because the beams were very dark brown. I've tried to tell myself it was a dream or a similar job, or just faulty memory, but it doesn't add up.
The second time I was driving some friends to the airport, and discovered a traffic light I knew for a fact wasn't there the day before, because I was planning on going shooting at the dirt road turn off, which was now a giant traffic light with paved roads that had been repaired they had been there soooo long. This was also when my girlfriend started saying I had changed (lol nothing strange there but the timing) and brought up things I had never done, as if I knew what she was talking about (intimate dating with a certain woman before her, whom I had only taken to lunch once before my girlfriend even knew me, and this other woman was very cute but totally bonkers and mean and clingy so I never spoke to her again after the one lunch)
Now this week I was watching the kids show "mighty machines: at the race track" with my 3yo son, only it was a different episode altogether than the last time I watched it with him. Last time it was F1 race cars, Pennzoil, and Duracell teams were supporting characters I remember thinking it must have been a big deal for Canadian public TV who made mighty machines to get big name racers, and they had a team that had no main sponsor (named after the owner) as the star of the show, I could draw you the story board, and tell you about 10 things I learned about F1 racers I didn't know before I saw the show (I'm not a race fan). My son has been watching that show since he could say "broooom brooom" and carry a toy race car, we've been watching other shows (Curious George) a few months now, but if you have kids you know about memorizing silly TV shows when your kid wants to watch it over and over everyday, several times a day. The story was similar, the voices were the same actors and actresses with different lines, same era and time frame, it even must have had the same story board, the camera shot sequences were the same, but a different race altogether, and it was dinky little go-cart sized indy-cars in the wiki it calls them "f 3000" class racers, I had no idea these existed until the show changed. I thought I was just confused because in the "new" episode the secondary race car is a yellow no name car which maybe I just thought was Pennzoil, but I re-watched it and she has almost no role, and there used to be this whole dialog I remember about being on the hydraulic lift tailgate to "take a rest" between races and in the new one these f 3000 cars are so small their truck trailers don't even have hydraulic lift tailgates. I just spent 2 hours looking for anything about a second version of the episode and according to everything I can find this is the original and only episode filmed in the 90's.
This would all add up if I was just nuts I guess, but this isn't like I think I'm claiming to be Napoleon, or the real living Elvis back from Mars or something. Its all too clear and detailed to have been dreams, I have no history of anything like this.
I could be totally bonkers I know, I actually wish I could just believe that, it would be easier to deal with. As far as I can tell, I have depression but have never been this off about things. I never thought I would wish I was just crazy. The best thing I think of other than I'm living out the sliders show, with out the fun chrome tunnel ride, is that maybe reading about John Titor and having been day dreaming about black holes and wormholes my whole life made some vivid dreams like I've never had before or like detectives talk about how people's minds make up details later on. But either I can't trust my mind or my reality, not a cool choice. Not cool at all. I actually feel like I don't belong here now, its possible I'm being messed with hence the next parts...
Shadow people? MILABS as shadow people maybe?
I'm also hoping someone may know if MILABS ever use a shadow people disguise for abductions? A few months back I had a night terror where a shadow person clearly in an Air Force barracks cap and class-b windbreaker jacket (from the distinctive outlines) came in my dream/room and reached into my chest where I could feel him fiddle around in there, it didn't hurt, but it felt like it should have and I still felt it after I was able to move again. I been having harder times emotionally since then. I have had other experiences with a completely different shadow person visiting my girlfriend, who claimed to be living and over 500,000 years old, and thought I was insolent for having the nerve to speak in his presence, but the air force one was all busyness, looked at me long enough to see I couldn't get up, then went to work,... in my chest, and left me paralyzed shortly when he was done.
**"bad" Andromans?
I've had 3 lucid dreams now where some kind of blue humanoid is involved and its not pleasant. The first time a freind next to me in my dream asks about all the clouds really being space ships over head and I told him " Oh, those? That's the Andromedans they're the bad guys." At the time I was reading Collier and Tolec, so it felt weird when I woke up and remembered what I said, and in a lucid dream no less, although the dream did turn bad, which was my first bad lucid dream my others had all started scary and then I woke up but was still in the dream so I went and had fun, this time it just made the dream more scary when I knew I was dreaming but had no control, and was being beamed up into a ship I really didn't want to go to for some reason, because "look at that shape it's a warbird all right". Another time involved being taken out of a dissection room by a blue alien an into an orphanage for gifted children being run by the blue alien, I somehow knew the "other kids" were all gifted and being collected, but I didn't know why I was there I had no talent. The alien wouldn't let me leave and all of us children ( I'm 41) felt we had to stick together (except for the pretty ballerina twins in pink too-toos, they were proud to be there for the shoes I think). The last lucid dream it was the place I was in that tipped me off that I was dreaming, but as soon as I went to fly away, a blue alien showed up and grabbed me, and I woke up screaming and convulsing is all I remember after that, woke the baby too.
So, anyone have something similar? I figure if not I'm less likely to get trolled here for sharing. Since it feels like I'm getting messed with anyway, I can't see me getting it worse for talking about it other than public ridicule.
Any information anyone (Corey or someone in the know) can provide would help. Any advice from anyone with anything similar would help, I am low on available friends at the moment. My life is in shambles, which sucks for me but its gotta be even harder on my boy, he needs a daddy who doesn't scare him at night, isn't sad all the time, and can function in life again. Thanks for reading, any discussion would help at this point, I'll even take the ridicule. I'm just crazy aren't I?
Any questions would probably even help, maybe some fresh perspectives. Maybe I just forgot how to google and the other race car episode was there the whole time?
I guess I kind of hope I'm just crazy because if I'm not, then I'm guessing I'll probably never get home due to the nature of the multiverse, (not because of the series but the real physics of it) I think I'd rather know I was safe and sound and a little off my rocker but with my original friends and family, than to think I'm in some other version of my life, where people remember a different me, who did things I never did. I know any modern doctor would love to tell me I'm nuts, and here's a hundred pills a day to take, and they'll get me back to work at wal-mart in no time, but these memories are as real as the nose on my face, and the all the details too. Oh, and people find my deception skills laughable at best, I can't get away with anything because I can't lie very well at all. I don't think I've gotten away with anything in my life, I give myself away everytime. Anyone who knows me would agree and say something like but that's a good thing and that's one reason I like you. Flattering and insulting at the same time (to me anyway, just see what happens when you can't lie and you get asked if this horizontally stripped moo-moo makes me look fat by your girlfriend, problems ensue.)