PDA

View Full Version : social isolation



mojo
22nd October 2014, 16:41
Something that we dont like to discuss but is important...do any feel the popularity of forums help fill this need? Im still having withdrawal symptoms from another forum but doing better...;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es9RS-wnq94

777
22nd October 2014, 16:56
I used to yearn for isolation, that is until I recieved it. As a child I would always opt to be alone amongst trees and converse with them as I found them far more amiable than humans, who frankly just annoyed me. As a teenager this flipped. As an adult I'm in balance.......ish.

To this day I sometimes just seek complete solitude but the moment I have it I miss those I love too much. Forums to me are just an extension of social interaction, but I can imagine to some they are a lifeline to sanity.

jimmer
22nd October 2014, 17:12
a lot of this social isolation began in the 70s, via politics.
the bra burning, big bad corporate money, the us against them memes, all got the ball rolling,
today, fueled by social media, everyone is now chopped up into special interest groups; confused as to who we are as individuals.
and along the way, we've acquired the belief that being isolated into target groups is a good thing --
voting blocks, power groups, getting our way, free ice cream. it worked.

Seikou-Kishi
22nd October 2014, 18:33
One tends to think of isolation as a problem for neglected old people who struggle to leave their houses.

lookbeyond
22nd October 2014, 23:45
social isolation can occur in the midst of people.Those in unpleasant relationships may feel it within their homes, others may feel it in the crowds of the shopping center.As ive gotten older, i prefer my own company, spend much of my time alone but do not feel lonely.Conversing with others not on same wavelength became burdonsome and drained me.My elder daughter finds this with many school friends who live for social media etc.Forums provide me with much food for thought, a few friendly chats and hav helped me get thru some more difficult times in my growth, there is no way that in the physical world that i could hav found the time to seek out such people for support.

Mojo, i hear u and can relate, think of why you disengaged, that will remind you of what is more important.

When i notice here at TOT someone is struggling or whatever i try to drop them a note, i think that it is lovely to receive such a note myself and i would like to suggest we all do this (im sure many others do)once in a while, just my thoughts folks..

ronin
23rd October 2014, 18:15
social isolation can come in many different forms.you can be in a crowded room and feel alone.you may have nothing in common with the people you are with and can see through the mundane brainwashed chatter.nearly everyone stares down nowadays due to phone technology preferring the apps on a phone rather than conversation.
i would say for people waking up now it is more difficult to have a conversation with people around you as they will not get what you are trying to say,will ridicule you and isolate you.
but this is not a bad thing as it is a part of your awakening and peeling away a layer of the onion.
if you do not want socialize and that is your choice people may say you are anti social,ignorant and so forth.fact is they do not understand you or your ways and have not asked or do not try to understand you.
fact is you have a choice listen to chatter or be yourself.
you can find peace with yourself and it will answer a lot of your questions,so isolation is not a bad thing.it is your choice.
the best bit is when you meet people with similar interest and goals and both of your leanings begin and develop.

BabaRa
23rd October 2014, 18:20
Mojo, i hear u and can relate, think of why you disengaged, that will remind you of what is more important.

When i notice here at TOT someone is struggling or whatever i try to drop them a note, i think that it is lovely to receive such a note myself and i would like to suggest we all do this (im sure many others do)once in a while, just my thoughts folks..


Lovely suggestion and reminder to reach out. Thanks

daft ada
23rd October 2014, 22:00
I feel you Mojo mate. My father was a landscape gardener and at the top in his field, he used to take a job as a head gardener on some country estate, we would move there as a family and he would spend five years laying out the grounds and making stunning gardens, inevitably winning the national garden scheme's awards for best garden, and each time it would make him more sought after.

Well this was all very well, but it meant I spent my whole childhood growing up on country estates miles away from anything, with just rolling hills and woods and castles and mansion houses.
The result is that I have very poor social skills and most everyone who meets me for the first time , dislikes me. I have never spoken unless I have something to say, I knew nothing of just chatting or small talk and it has made my life very difficult and I have very few friends.
It's a shame as I am a very kind loving person, I would help anyone, but because I am 6'4 and 240 lbs and very quiet, people avoid me and don't like me I can only guess they feel intimidated.
I wish I had a quid for the amount of times I have had someone say to me, "When I first met you I didn't like you, but as I got to know you I rialised you are a lovely person" Well I don't know about being a lovely person, but I would never do or say anything to anyone that I wouldn't be happy about it being done or said to me, however if I see someone behaving badly, or bullying I would be the first to step in and sort it.
I very firmly believe that we are all equal and as far as I am concerned, no matter how much money you have does no make you better than me, or that I should kowtow to you. I speak to all the people who behave as if they are gods on earth as if they are my mate, and guess what? yup! that's right, they don't like it. I will call no one Sir, and despite rising to a prominent position when I was working, I would not let anyone, let alone a member of the crew call me Sir. My name is Robert, Bob to most. I am no better than anyone and no worse than anyone, and thanks to my parents isolating me until I went into the air force at 17 my life has been very difficult.

lookbeyond
23rd October 2014, 23:53
Right daft ada, Friend request coming your way

daft ada
24th October 2014, 00:06
Right daft ada, Friend request coming your way
Why thank you, first one in a year :-(

mojo
24th October 2014, 01:07
Thank you for being so open and sharing Bob...:hugs:

Highland1
24th October 2014, 08:14
The beauty of a forum like tot is you get to like people as a result of their comments and interaction with others as opposed to physical appearance.
Would we all feel the same about each other if we all met face to face I wonder?
I think after the initial surprise of physical appearance, we would all get on just fine!
Hugs Bob!

Russ

Sooz
24th October 2014, 08:57
Interesting comments. I used to be pretty much a social butterfly - parties, entertaining, people always popping in. And I used to love it. But now? The older I get, I love being on my own. I am alone but not lonely at all. I crave my 'aloneness' when too many people want my personal time. I think I have a balance. That's the great thing about getting older, you tend not to give a stuff about what anyone else thinks. And I also think being 'selfish' with common sense, is a good thing. It's learning when it's a good thing to say 'yes or no' and feel no guilt and no need to apologise.

The good thing about this forum, is you get to meet like-minded people and if you don't feel in the mood to interact, you just don't. And no-one minds!

Sooz:group hug:

Edit: Friend request sent to you daft ada...

Sooz
24th October 2014, 11:07
723

Sooz;)

Highland1
24th October 2014, 13:56
]

It's a shame as I am a very kind loving person, I would help anyone, but because I am 6'4 and 240 lbs and very quiet, people avoid me and don't like me I can only guess they feel intimidated.


This comes to mind Bob....


[ATTACH=CONFIG]724[/ATTACH

Russ

daft ada
24th October 2014, 22:18
Thank you for being so open and sharing Bob...:hugs:

Hi mate, dunno what came over me :-) touched a nerve I think.

daft ada
24th October 2014, 22:20
The beauty of a forum like tot is you get to like people as a result of their comments and interaction with others as opposed to physical appearance.
Would we all feel the same about each other if we all met face to face I wonder?
I think after the initial surprise of physical appearance, we would all get on just fine!
Hugs Bob!

Russ Well you can see my ugly mush on my profile page. Thanks for the hug mate.

daft ada
24th October 2014, 22:21
Interesting comments. I used to be pretty much a social butterfly - parties, entertaining, people always popping in. And I used to love it. But now? The older I get, I love being on my own. I am alone but not lonely at all. I crave my 'aloneness' when too many people want my personal time. I think I have a balance. That's the great thing about getting older, you tend not to give a stuff about what anyone else thinks. And I also think being 'selfish' with common sense, is a good thing. It's learning when it's a good thing to say 'yes or no' and feel no guilt and no need to apologise.

The good thing about this forum, is you get to meet like-minded people and if you don't feel in the mood to interact, you just don't. And no-one minds!

Sooz:group hug:

Edit: Friend request sent to you daft ada...
Thanks Suzi. I can stand in a room with 500 people and feel alone.

daft ada
24th October 2014, 22:28
]

This comes to mind Bob....


[ATTACH=CONFIG]724[/ATTACH


Russ
That is so very true Russ, we are all guilty of it, we look at someone and think ewe, don't like him or her, without even trying to speak to them and getting to know them, having said that though I have sometimes read peoples threads and posts on forums without commenting and felt I didn't like them, but then I just keep away from them and leave them be. Some people take a dislike to you and then have to hound you and cause you pain, I have left several forums because of that, but I will never get into a slanging match on a forum.

lookbeyond
25th October 2014, 01:10
]

This comes to mind Bob....


[ATTACH=CONFIG]724[/ATTACH

Russ

Thanks for the reminder Russ.I recently told my children the meaning of "Namaste", i think it is such a beautiful word/thought-

Namaste, i believe means "i acknowledge the God in you" said as a greeting