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Tribe
4th October 2014, 19:31
http://youtu.be/k7X7sZzSXYs


HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

ronin
5th October 2014, 01:46
alone can be a good place to be.
it is what we perceive as the outside world that brings us disharmony.
people,stress, money,work ect ect all play their part on us.
but when we are alone and go within we can live in that moment of clarity.
it,s just so difficult to bring it with you in the everyday world.
so no doubt being alone can be a pleasant experience within itself.:tiphat:

Mark
5th October 2014, 10:30
Another good way is to fart a great deal...

Spiral
5th October 2014, 11:12
Another good way is to fart a great deal...

http://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m508/VaguelyReticent/Emoticons/slaphead_zpsca3ed6c1.gif

Sooz
5th October 2014, 11:22
You guys are too funny.

I am alone but definitely not lonely. I enjoy my own company immensely!

But then again, I'm a Gemini. Always have someone else to chat to, lol....:hilarious:

ronin
5th October 2014, 11:49
Another good way is to fart a great deal...

the silent but deadly ones are the best.
sometimes when in bed and my partner is just starting to drift off.
i will say in horror that someone is downstairs pulling the cover over our heads.

then let one rip:eyebrows:

i know it,s wrong and immature,but i don,t care as i see her face in disgust and gasping for air!!!!!

Spiral
5th October 2014, 11:56
the silent but deadly ones are the best.
sometimes when in bed and my partner is just starting to drift off.
i will say in horror that someone is downstairs pulling the cover over our heads.

then let one rip:eyebrows:

i know it,s wrong and immature,but i don,t care as i see her face in disgust and gasping for air!!!!!

http://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m508/VaguelyReticent/Emoticons/slaphead_zpsca3ed6c1.gif

Catsquotl
5th October 2014, 12:18
Ieuuuwww :vom:

Here I was ready to take Donk's advice. Exploring if Relations is really the most important thing and now this..
Better of alone I say

WIth Love
Eelco

Tonz
5th October 2014, 13:36
OMG i was just doing my being alone thing and i had just let one rip then i read this
Another good way is to fart a great deal...
life is not a coincidence but there could be better examples! at times .:shocked:

Tonz
5th October 2014, 13:39
:back to topic:

I havent enjoyed that much being alone for this year , to be honest, There is a lot i can do to change that , thankyou for reminding me Tribe.I have done so many things in my life alone , traveled , explored , meditated , joyed , cried, laughed,climbed,smoked,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, lived.

It's strange at this point in my life that i haven't enjoyed being alone.I think the beach is calling me in the morning and i will take it from there.!

Tribe
5th October 2014, 18:27
Your welcome , the beach is a good place to greet the morning ..Enjoy Tonton :) x

norman
5th October 2014, 18:51
When I was recovering from a hefty bout of utter life squishing depression I was initially cooped up in the house doing virtually nothing. I found it very hard to muster enough oomph to go outside for anything other than to buy food and to go to an occasional car-boot sale where being with people was easiest.

Quite by chance, something happened that kick started a new direction for me to gently adventure in. It began with a pack of mini-discs on a carboot seller's table. I suddenly remembered the fun i used to have messing about with tape recorders. Mini disc was a technology I'd completely missed because it was very expensive, in it's day.

I took the plunge and bought the pack of discs and went home to look for a little portable recorder to use them with, on ebay. Within a couple of weeks I was venturing out into the countryside with a recorder and microphone and listening intently to the sounds in the environment. I was completely 'alone', far away from other humans, and I was experiencing a new excitement and simple pleasure. I was actually happy. I had something challenging enough to satisfy my nerdiness and I could do it in complete isolation from all other humans. There was no ego involved, not mine, not anyone else's. PERFECT !

The equipment I use has evolved since then but the basic practice is still good.

Tribe
5th October 2014, 18:54
Ah Norman that's a really uplifting insight into your life , thanks for sharing .. I like that , you made me smile :smiley hug: