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BabaRa
10th February 2014, 04:05
We all experience it, and all it usually does is mess up a relationship. So what do we do about it?


Well first, here's what NOT to do.

a) Don't repress it. That will only cause dis-ease.
b) Don't express it. That will only cause disharmony

So what's left?

Well, here's something that works for me. Transform it. Anger is a powerful energy, so it usually takes physical movement to release it. It's amazing how much work you can accomplish with that energy. Clean your house. Pull weeds or rake leaves. Go hit a tennis or golf ball. Drag out that exercise equipment you've stashed away.

When the anger has finally dissipated, you'll feel good about what you've accomplished, and then you can start doing the real work of analyzing why you were really angry. It's rarely for the reason that caused the flare up. Keep peeling back the layers, by asking yourself questions. (i.e. Was I really this upset because someone forgot to pick up the mail or you fill in the blank. Why was this simple task so important to me? etc.)

And when it's all over, know you've done your best and just love yourself.

modwiz
10th February 2014, 04:33
Some anger will pass like a quick Summer storm, with the clearing that happens after. This is cleansing.

Acting or speaking from anger is ill advised because of consequences of either that the the calmer returning personalty will have to deal with.

Finding out what we are really angry about is key. Much of our anger comes from other issues of powerlessness, most times the perception of powerlessness. Unrecognized fear, will often show up as anger. Knowing what we fear, also helps.

A possibly trite phrase comes to mind.:p

Another worthy thread Barbara.

Eelco
10th February 2014, 04:48
How true BabaRa,

In my younger days before I met my wife. I wasn't one to argue. Just swallowed my dis-ease until I burst, which usually meant the end of my relationship there and then.
One of the reasons I think Viola and me got along so well was because we could get into fights and then make up.

These days when I am frantically cleaning and tidying the house. She knows and asks..
What are you angry about...

WIth Love
Eelco

Calz
10th February 2014, 05:19
Go hit a tennis or golf ball.



What if hitting a tennis or golf ball is the source of your anger???

I know I know ... chop wood carry water (or somethin' like that) ...


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2zzVrZcwlGo/UFa1mfsYdKI/AAAAAAAAAyg/UzcN6SS7Ixk/s1600/Tennis+Angry+Face.jpg

modwiz
10th February 2014, 05:22
What if hitting a tennis or golf ball is the source of your anger???

I know I know ... chop wood carry water (or somethin' like that) ...


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2zzVrZcwlGo/UFa1mfsYdKI/AAAAAAAAAyg/UzcN6SS7Ixk/s1600/Tennis+Angry+Face.jpg

I think that is called 'possession'.:priest: (Get the sage)

Calz
10th February 2014, 05:41
I think that is called 'possession'.:priest: (Get the sage)

Sage advice ...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MUXvtWF6YbA/TxRBgyriOTI/AAAAAAAAAvI/DeWtmYvqH5I/s320/New+Guru+Serenity+%2528no+alcohol%2529.jpg

Ineffable Hitchhiker
10th February 2014, 08:35
When confronting anger from another person, I have found a method that works for me.
One day, many years back, I had to send a package to South Africa.
It was 11.45 and the post office closes at 12 o´clock. As I went to the back of the queue, the lady behind the counter went on a looooong rant (very loudly, I might add) about how we all arrive minutes before closing time and "rob" her of her lunch time. All of the people that stood in that queue were astounded and wide-eyed.
Now what to do?
Feel sorry for her?
Feel guilty?
Apologise?

Nah.

I decided to that I would not allow her anger to get to me. It is not my story. It´s hers. The package in my hand was symbolic of how I would like this to end ie. I hand over the anger. ;)

She closed the door behind me, as I was last in line.
When all had left, bar me, she looked at the parcel and said: "Oooooh, this is going to South Africa? I was there last year!"
She proceeded to tell me, with a huge grin on her face, all about her wonderful trip.
I left half an hour later.

The One
10th February 2014, 08:53
Its very easy to get angry these days especially in these testing times.

I stopped getting angry a long time ago by thinking we must not have hatred to those who have oppressed us.Anger arises and this is based in fear.Instead we must dig deep into our heart and try to find forgiveness.Within every being however seemingly dark,there is light.

United we stand

Sooz
10th February 2014, 09:01
[QUOTE=modwiz;12925]Some anger will pass like a quick Summer storm, with the clearing that happens after. This is cleansing.

Acting or speaking from anger is ill advised because of consequences of either that the the calmer returning personalty will have to deal with.

Finding out what we are really angry about is key. Much of our anger comes from other issues of powerlessness, most times the perception of powerlessness. Unrecognized fear, will often show up as anger. Knowing what we fear, also helps.

Sigh, just tried to post something, very succinct, but I lost it...

...will try again,

Very sage advice Modz.

I have suffered the consequence of my anger and I'm still struggling to find where it comes from, although I think I know. Not that I want to discuss that here. It's personal and very complicated.

I know I come across here as somewhat jovial with a 'devil-may-care' attitude...and that is true of me.

But I have my dark side as well.

Sun in Gemini, Scorpio Rising and Moon in Pisces may explain it to those who understand.

Fred Steeves
10th February 2014, 10:49
Finding out what we are really angry about is key. Much of our anger comes from other issues of powerlessness, most times the perception of powerlessness. Unrecognized fear, will often show up as anger. Knowing what we fear, also helps.

Well, there's that "know thy self" thing again. Tough getting around this stubborn little bugger huh?

Tonz
10th February 2014, 11:08
Anger at times has been my strength, at times,to push past the sufferings or at times ,for the intolerable insensitiveness of others and even at times of panic from others,
As life goes on one can see that the anger in our past mostly was due to a lack of depth on our behalf, a limitation that should not be there,perhaps from society ,upbringing or survival skills , put it where we want ,it never quite fits not in it's totality .
I really don't like going there ,but there have been times.

The best is to reflect and admit there is more work for me, much deeper,and truer yet to discover about myself.

Most of the time anger is the most destructive for self and others,
The power , what could lay beyond anger
could only be empathy.

Mark
10th February 2014, 11:15
DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I HAVE THE TIME FOR ANY OF THIS S***!?

a) Don't repress it. That will only cause dis-ease.
b) Don't express it. That will only cause disharmony

If I aint doing "a" lady, I gotta do "b" lol

BabaRa
10th February 2014, 17:27
a) Don't repress it. That will only cause dis-ease.
b) Don't express it. That will only cause disharmony

If I aint doing "a" lady, I gotta do "b" lol



You don't have to chose 'b': You could choose (c), which is transform/transmute it into a deeper understanding of self.

Altaira
10th February 2014, 19:22
The power of option "c" is incredible and once you find it you wont opt for a orb. At least this is how it worked for me.

ronin
10th February 2014, 22:13
i find anger is a outside influence that pushes your buttons.
you may be the calmest person,but their is always someone wanting to test you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4BwG7UF-l4

BabaRa
10th February 2014, 22:22
Ronin, I would ask: Who installed your buttons?

Instead of being angry that they "pushed your buttons", can you shift that to thank them for showing you where your buttons are, so you can disconnect them?

As long as you have "buttons" you are giving your power and peace away to anybody who want to mess with you. Sometimes knowingly, and sometimes accidentally.

modwiz
10th February 2014, 22:27
i find anger is a outside influence that pushes your buttons.
you may be the calmest person,but their is always someone wanting to test you.


Profound statement here. It is why I am alone. I never have fights with myself. I have never known such peace. I am able to think clearly in this setting. I can truly know myself.

I had to leave a good marriage to accomplish this but, it was the right decision for me.

No buttons were being pushed, we grew beyond that and held each other in honor. Just not sure I would make it through the eye of a needle in a partnership.

ronin
10th February 2014, 22:36
Ronin, I would ask: Who installed your buttons?

Instead of being angry that they "pushed your buttons", can you shift that to thank them for showing you where your buttons are, so you can disconnect them?

As long as you have "buttons" you are giving your power and peace away to anybody who want to mess with you. Sometimes knowingly, and sometimes accidentally.

as far i i know it was learnt behavior.a cycle i reqonise and choose to break.
i do come across as angry but it is more frustration.
my buttons rarely get pushed anymore.
i laugh in the face of adversity.
well try to when i can.

i dislike egotistical people who try to control you and i see this a lot.
it use to get me down but now i just let it go(more carefree).
but they still want to push your buttons.
maybe i just have a issue with authority?

Melidae
10th February 2014, 23:25
I cannot control what others choose to do...I can only choose for myself.

Just try to push my buttons...but first you have to find them...they fell off years ago.

Sooz, I have Sun in Leo, Scorpio Rising and Moon in Aquarius...just a jumping off point...have spent years rounding out the edges, choosing to fly as an eagle rather than sting as a scorpion and balancing the fire and water signs...water hasn't put out the fire, just made it manageable while keeping the passion.

modwiz
10th February 2014, 23:30
I cannot control what others choose to do...I can only choose for myself.

Just try to push my buttons...but first you have to find them...they fell off years ago.

Sooz, I have Sun in Leo, Scorpio Rising and Moon in Aquarius...just a jumping off point...have spent years rounding out the edges, choosing to fly as an eagle rather than sting as a scorpion and balancing the fire and water signs...water hasn't put out the fire, just made it manageable while keeping the passion.

That sounds steamy.:eyebrows:

Melidae
10th February 2014, 23:37
That sounds steamy.:eyebrows:

:thup:

:whstl:

Mark
11th February 2014, 11:30
This is the hardest from of anger to dispel, as it seems so unjust, to be projected upon to facilitate a similar reaction when you have worked so diligently to be anything other...this happens ALOT in relationships, a hermits life is an easy one!

UNBELIEVABLE!

Just after I wrote the above my "new" bosses boss came over and made a very public scene, because I couldn't answer a question he posed....I am still shaking slightly now. I hate offices, what is wrong with people, I just dont understand :-(

I also hate seeing him bully others, they hide in fear, this is not right?

So I transmute this then......think about care bears again? Do I repress this then like the others as I have a family to feed?

If i try to ignore it, that is also repressing it.

If I confront it to stop it, that is reacting to it.

I just want to live in peace like any other normal person, the fight in me is very compelling, but sometimes dont we have to fight for what is right?

Confusing......?

How do I deal with this anyone, as this will only get worse?

Mark
11th February 2014, 16:40
Calm is restored.

A spiritual test, a gift, i will pass this, forgive my previous bleating :-)

BabaRa
11th February 2014, 17:08
You are forgiven ! . . .(hmm, do I have that power?). . . . . Well, I forgive you.


And actually, in my mind, you did do (c). Your rant here - in a safe place- gave you an opportunity to release the pressure and shift your energy.

Cearna
17th February 2014, 09:28
Caleb, I used to be the one cowering in fear,as you say, then I found another me, it was a strange me, a bit weird, and unconventional, but that was who I was, and I had to be who I was, not what others wanted me to be. I could easily be what, others wanted me to be that was easy, but being myself, so much harder at first, because I had no idea who this person was, that was trying to find her way out into the Light. However, the more I became that different me, the more I was accepted, the old me was easier to push around and go into the mould, but the new me, well it was a bit intriguing, but they weren't fearful of me, it was more a matter of that's just Colleen being Colleen, and if a bit hard to understand , well, Wolf khan says that's Colleen having a lost marbles day. So the more you are you, the more accepted and the least likely to try to push around. I don't fight back, I stand in my own honest Truth and let others come what may, if they can't recognise the Truth of who you are, well they are just not there yet. But my Self Hood is mine, I fought to find it and I love it as it is. Stand tall (in all my 5ft 4inches) and let Truth be what stands out. They wont fight you and cause anger, unless that is where they are, recognise that, and half the task is over.

KosmicKat
17th February 2014, 12:05
Profound statement here. It is why I am alone. I never have fights with myself. I have never known such peace. I am able to think clearly in this setting. I can truly know myself.

I had to leave a good marriage to accomplish this but, it was the right decision for me.


...this happens ALOT in relationships, a hermits life is an easy one!

The question in my mind is "have you ruled out a range of experiences by isolating yourself?" Are there challenges that will have to be faced at some later stage, postponed because you chose a path of solitude? Will the solitude fortify you against those challenges, or only delay them?

Whether you answer or not may tell us more about the path you are following.