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Thread: ANGER - The Great Divider

  1. #1
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    ANGER - The Great Divider

    We all experience it, and all it usually does is mess up a relationship. So what do we do about it?


    Well first, here's what NOT to do.

    a) Don't repress it. That will only cause dis-ease.
    b) Don't express it. That will only cause disharmony

    So what's left?

    Well, here's something that works for me. Transform it. Anger is a powerful energy, so it usually takes physical movement to release it. It's amazing how much work you can accomplish with that energy. Clean your house. Pull weeds or rake leaves. Go hit a tennis or golf ball. Drag out that exercise equipment you've stashed away.

    When the anger has finally dissipated, you'll feel good about what you've accomplished, and then you can start doing the real work of analyzing why you were really angry. It's rarely for the reason that caused the flare up. Keep peeling back the layers, by asking yourself questions. (i.e. Was I really this upset because someone forgot to pick up the mail or you fill in the blank. Why was this simple task so important to me? etc.)

    And when it's all over, know you've done your best and just love yourself.

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  3. #2
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    Some anger will pass like a quick Summer storm, with the clearing that happens after. This is cleansing.

    Acting or speaking from anger is ill advised because of consequences of either that the the calmer returning personalty will have to deal with.

    Finding out what we are really angry about is key. Much of our anger comes from other issues of powerlessness, most times the perception of powerlessness. Unrecognized fear, will often show up as anger. Knowing what we fear, also helps.

    A possibly trite phrase comes to mind.

    Another worthy thread Barbara.
    Last edited by modwiz, 10th February 2014 at 04:53.
    "To learn who rules over you simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize" -- Voltaire

    "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."-- Eleanor Roosevelt

    "Misery loves company. Wisdom has to look for it." -- Anonymous

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  5. #3
    Eelco
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    How true BabaRa,

    In my younger days before I met my wife. I wasn't one to argue. Just swallowed my dis-ease until I burst, which usually meant the end of my relationship there and then.
    One of the reasons I think Viola and me got along so well was because we could get into fights and then make up.

    These days when I am frantically cleaning and tidying the house. She knows and asks..
    What are you angry about...

    WIth Love
    Eelco

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    Quote Originally posted by BabaRa View Post

    Go hit a tennis or golf ball.
    What if hitting a tennis or golf ball is the source of your anger???

    I know I know ... chop wood carry water (or somethin' like that) ...



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    Quote Originally posted by Calz View Post
    What if hitting a tennis or golf ball is the source of your anger???

    I know I know ... chop wood carry water (or somethin' like that) ...


    I think that is called 'possession'. (Get the sage)
    "To learn who rules over you simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize" -- Voltaire

    "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."-- Eleanor Roosevelt

    "Misery loves company. Wisdom has to look for it." -- Anonymous

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    Quote Originally posted by modwiz View Post
    I think that is called 'possession'. (Get the sage)
    Sage advice ...


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  13. #7
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    When confronting anger from another person, I have found a method that works for me.
    One day, many years back, I had to send a package to South Africa.
    It was 11.45 and the post office closes at 12 o´clock. As I went to the back of the queue, the lady behind the counter went on a looooong rant (very loudly, I might add) about how we all arrive minutes before closing time and "rob" her of her lunch time. All of the people that stood in that queue were astounded and wide-eyed.
    Now what to do?
    Feel sorry for her?
    Feel guilty?
    Apologise?

    Nah.

    I decided to that I would not allow her anger to get to me. It is not my story. It´s hers. The package in my hand was symbolic of how I would like this to end ie. I hand over the anger.

    She closed the door behind me, as I was last in line.
    When all had left, bar me, she looked at the parcel and said: "Oooooh, this is going to South Africa? I was there last year!"
    She proceeded to tell me, with a huge grin on her face, all about her wonderful trip.
    I left half an hour later.

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    Its very easy to get angry these days especially in these testing times.

    I stopped getting angry a long time ago by thinking we must not have hatred to those who have oppressed us.Anger arises and this is based in fear.Instead we must dig deep into our heart and try to find forgiveness.Within every being however seemingly dark,there is light.

    United we stand
    No one person can ever change the truth, but the truth, once learned, can and will change the person

    You must be the change you wish to see in the world when you are through changing, you are through


    theonetruth forum status theonetruth facebook

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    [QUOTE=modwiz;12925]Some anger will pass like a quick Summer storm, with the clearing that happens after. This is cleansing.

    Acting or speaking from anger is ill advised because of consequences of either that the the calmer returning personalty will have to deal with.

    Finding out what we are really angry about is key. Much of our anger comes from other issues of powerlessness, most times the perception of powerlessness. Unrecognized fear, will often show up as anger. Knowing what we fear, also helps.

    Sigh, just tried to post something, very succinct, but I lost it...

    ...will try again,

    Very sage advice Modz.

    I have suffered the consequence of my anger and I'm still struggling to find where it comes from, although I think I know. Not that I want to discuss that here. It's personal and very complicated.

    I know I come across here as somewhat jovial with a 'devil-may-care' attitude...and that is true of me.

    But I have my dark side as well.

    Sun in Gemini, Scorpio Rising and Moon in Pisces may explain it to those who understand.
    Last edited by Sooz, 10th February 2014 at 09:10.

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  19. #10
    Fred Steeves
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    Quote Originally posted by modwiz View Post
    Finding out what we are really angry about is key. Much of our anger comes from other issues of powerlessness, most times the perception of powerlessness. Unrecognized fear, will often show up as anger. Knowing what we fear, also helps.
    Well, there's that "know thy self" thing again. Tough getting around this stubborn little bugger huh?

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  21. #11
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    Anger at times has been my strength, at times,to push past the sufferings or at times ,for the intolerable insensitiveness of others and even at times of panic from others,
    As life goes on one can see that the anger in our past mostly was due to a lack of depth on our behalf, a limitation that should not be there,perhaps from society ,upbringing or survival skills , put it where we want ,it never quite fits not in it's totality .
    I really don't like going there ,but there have been times.

    The best is to reflect and admit there is more work for me, much deeper,and truer yet to discover about myself.

    Most of the time anger is the most destructive for self and others,
    The power , what could lay beyond anger
    could only be empathy.

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    DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I HAVE THE TIME FOR ANY OF THIS S***!?

    a) Don't repress it. That will only cause dis-ease.
    b) Don't express it. That will only cause disharmony

    If I aint doing "a" lady, I gotta do "b" lol

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    Quote Originally posted by Caleb View Post

    a) Don't repress it. That will only cause dis-ease.
    b) Don't express it. That will only cause disharmony

    If I aint doing "a" lady, I gotta do "b" lol


    You don't have to chose 'b': You could choose (c), which is transform/transmute it into a deeper understanding of self.
    Last edited by BabaRa, 10th February 2014 at 19:28.

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    The power of option "c" is incredible and once you find it you wont opt for a orb. At least this is how it worked for me.

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    i find anger is a outside influence that pushes your buttons.
    you may be the calmest person,but their is always someone wanting to test you.


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