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Thread: Old state (usa) laws still on the books ...

  1. #1
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    Old state (usa) laws still on the books ...

    el Sid would have a field day with this ... what a hoot!!!

    (my favorite since I live in Nebraska ... thank goodness I don't take my kids to church ... )

    Nebraska
    If a child cannot hold back a burp during church service, the parents can be arrested

    _________________

    Do you break the law?


    Estimates of the current size of the body of federal criminal law vary. It has been reported that the Congressional Research Service cannot even count the current number of federal crimes. These laws are scattered in over 50 titles of the United States Code, encompassing roughly 27,000 pages. Worse yet, the statutory code sections often incorporate, by reference, the provisions and sanctions of administrative regulations promulgated by various regulatory agencies under congressional authorization. Estimates of how many such regulations exist are even less well settled, but the ABA thinks there are ”nearly 10,000.”

    If the federal government can’t even count how many laws there are, what chance does an individual have of being certain that they are not acting in violation of one of them?

    As Supreme Court Justice Breyer elaborates:


    The complexity of modern federal criminal law, codified in several thousand sections of the United States Code and the virtually infinite variety of factual circumstances that might trigger an investigation into a possible violation of the law, make it difficult for anyone to know, in advance, just when a particular set of statements might later appear (to a prosecutor) to be relevant to some such investigation.

    For instance, did you know that it is a federal crime to be in possession of a lobster under a certain size? It doesn’t matter if you bought it at a grocery store, if someone else gave it to you, if it’s dead or alive, if you found it after it died of natural causes, or even if you killed it while acting in self defense. You can go to jail because of a lobster.

    If the federal government had access to every email you’ve ever written and every phone call you’ve ever made, it’s almost certain that they could find something you’ve done which violates a provision in the 27,000 pages of federal statues or 10,000 administrative regulations. You probably do have something to hide, you just don’t know it yet.

    And that’s just federal laws.

    Crazy State Laws

    Here is a small sample of state and local laws which are still on the books today:

    Alabama
    One is not allowed to play dominoes on Sundays
    Men are not allowed to spit in front of the fairer sex
    One is not allowed to wear a fake mustache to church

    Alaska
    It is legal to shoot bears, but walking up to a sleeping bear to take a photograph is strictly prohibited
    It is prohibited to view a moose from an airplane

    Arizona
    Cars cannot be driven in reverse in Glendale, Arizona
    An ordinance passed in Nogales prohibits wearing suspenders
    Women are not allowed to wear pants in Tucson

    Arkansas
    Mispronouncing the name of the state of Arkansas is illegal

    California
    It is illegal to eat an orange sitting in a bathtub
    In Riverside, one cannot carry their lunch down the street between 11 am to 1 pm. Kissing on the lips is illegal in that town … unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water
    A person is not allowed to wear cowboy boots in Blythe, if he does not own at least two cows
    It is illegal to cry on the witness stand in Los Angeles
    Cats and dogs in Ventura County can have sex only if they have the permit to do so
    The copyright to the term ‘San Francisco’ is held by the city of San Francisco One cannot manufacture any item with the name San Francisco without the permission from the city

    Connecticut
    It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades
    It is against the law to train dogs for obedience or any other purpose
    It is illegal to kiss your wife on a Sunday in Hartford
    It’s against the law to eat in your car, in Bloomfield

    Delaware
    It is illegal for anyone to fly over any water body without sufficient supplies of food and water

    Florida
    A husband is not allowed to kiss his wife’s breast
    Only the missionary position is legal when having sex
    It is an offense to bathe naked
    It’s a crime to parachute on Sundays
    Women are fined for falling asleep under the hair dryer and so is the salon owner

    Georgia
    In Jonesboro, it is illegal to say “Oh, Boy”

    Hawaii
    One is fined if one does not own a boat

    Idaho
    A man cannot gift his lover a box of candy that is less than fifty pounds in weight
    It is strictly prohibited to walk along the street with a red-tipped cane
    It is a crime to ride a merry-go-round on Sundays

    Illinois
    All bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts according to a state law
    It is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is ‘American’
    It is illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream on a customer’s face
    It is illegal for women over 200 pounds wearing shorts to ride horses, in Chicago
    An individual may be arrested for vagrancy, if he does not have at least one dollar bill on person

    Indiana
    All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads
    It is illegal to indulge in ‘spiteful gossip’ and ‘talking behind a person’s back’
    It is illegal to take baths between the months of October and March
    Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans
    One is not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table; only the waiter or waitress can do it

    Iowa
    A man with a mustache may never kiss a woman in public
    The ‘Ice Cream Man’ and his truck are banned in Indianola
    Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes
    Within the city limits, a man is not allowed to wink at any woman he does not know in Ottumwa
    A husband in Ames is not allowed to drink more than 3 gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife after making love or holding the wife in his arms

    Kansas
    In Kansas City, one cannot say the name ‘George Washington’ without adding the phrase ‘blessed be his name’
    Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights

    Kentucky
    No female weighing between 90 and 200 pounds shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within the state, unless she be escorted by at least two officers, or unless she be armed with a club.
    A person needs a license to walk around nude in his/her property
    A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission in Owensboro

    Louisiana
    It is considered illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it

    Maine
    Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street in Portland
    It is illegal to blow one’s nose in public in Waterville

    Maryland
    Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited in Maryland
    It is illegal to mistreat oysters in Baltimore
    A kiss more than one second is illegal in Halethrope
    A woman is not allowed to go through her husband’s pocket while he is sleeping
    One cannot swear within the city limits of Baltimore

    Massachusetts
    Any person caught eating peanuts in church may be jailed for up to one year
    It is illegal to take a bath unless prescribed by a physician, in Boston
    It is illegal to peep into the windows of automobiles in Milford

    Michigan
    A wife’s hair belongs to her husband, and it is illegal to alter her hairstyle without his permission
    One may not swear in front of women and children
    It is illegal to sleep in a bathtub in Detroit

    Minnesota
    It is compulsory for all men driving a motorcycle to wear shirts
    Each and every man in Brainerd is required to grow a beard by law
    No child under the age of 12 is allowed to talk over the phone unless monitored by a parent in Blue Earth
    In Alexandria, it is illegal for any man to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions or sardines in his breath If the wife requests him, it becomes mandatory for the husband to brush his teeth
    Hamburgers are not to be eaten on Sundays in St Cloud

    Mississippi
    It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public
    It is illegal to create unnecessary noises in Oxford

    Missouri
    It is illegal for four unrelated women to rent an apartment together (to prevent prostitution)
    Yard waste may be burned any day except on Sundays, in Buckner
    Hard objects cannot be thrown by hand in Excelsior Springs
    Dancing is strictly prohibited in Purdy

    Montana
    It is considered felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail
    It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any position other than missionary style
    It is illegal for unmarried women to fish without a companion

    Nebraska
    If a child cannot hold back a burp during church service, the parents can be arrested
    It is not legal for a tavern owner to serve beer unless a nice kettle of soup is also brewing
    A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest
    It is illegal to sleep naked in a hotel/motel room
    The owner of every hotel in Hastings is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts
    Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 am and 7 pm, in Waterloo

    Nevada
    Sex without a condom is considered illegal
    Men who wear mustaches are forbidden from kissing women, in Eureka

    New Hampshire


    New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe
    Citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up on Sundays
    Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces

    New Jersey
    It is against the law to ‘frown’ at a police officer
    One may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue
    All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts
    It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat
    It is illegal to buy ice cream after 6 pm, in Newark
    Lovers in Liberty Corner should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term

    New Mexico
    It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public in Carrizozo, New Mexico

    New York
    While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking towards the door
    It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing ‘body hugging clothing’
    A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This is an old law that specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking ‘at a woman in that way’. If convicted a second time for a crime of this magnitude, it calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a ‘pair of horse-blinders’ wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll
    A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match, in Carmel
    It is illegal to eat on the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle, in Ocean City

    North Carolina
    All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden
    In Charlotte, women must be swathed in at least 16 yards of fabric before stepping out into public
    Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited in Barber
    Before a man asks for a woman’s hand in marriage, he must be inspected by all the barnyard animals on the young woman’s family’s property, to ensure a harmonious farm life, in Raleigh
    It is required that one must pay a property tax on their dog, in Rocky Mount

    North Dakota
    It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on
    It’s against state law to serve beer and pretzels at the same time in any bar or restaurant
    You may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place, in Fargo

    Ohio
    It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police
    Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes (to avoid men seeing the reflection of their underwear)
    It is illegal to run out of gas
    Breastfeeding is not allowed in public
    It’s illegal to catch mice without a hunting license in Cleveland
    Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines in Clinton County
    It’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture, in Oxford
    You cannot eat a donut and walk backwards on a city street

    Oklahoma
    Women are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state
    Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property
    By law, a kiss can last for 3 minutes, in Tulsa
    It is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer, in Tulsa

    Oregon
    One may not bathe without wearing ‘suitable clothing’, i.e. that which covers one’s body from neck to knee
    It is illegal to whisper ‘dirty’ things in your lover’s ear during sex
    Anyone with a bad reputation is prohibited from distributing malt beverages, in Oregon

    Pennsylvania
    Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue
    Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming towards him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes
    No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife
    It is illegal to sing in your bathtub
    Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk
    Men are banned from getting aroused in public, in Allentown

    Rhode Island

    It is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday, in Providence

    South Dakota
    Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner, are forbidden

    Tennessee
    It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date
    It is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn the approaching motorists and pedestrians, in Memphis

    Texas
    The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home
    One needs a 5 dollar permit before going barefoot
    It is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts, in Mesquite

    Utah
    It is illegal not to drink milk
    It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway

    Vermont
    Denying the existence of God is considered illegal
    Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth

    Virginia
    All bathtubs are to be kept outside in the yard and not inside the house
    One cannot work on a Sunday
    Driving without shoes is prohibited
    Children are not allowed to go trick-or-treating on Halloween
    It’s against the law to tickle a girl under her chin with a feather duster in order to get her attention, in Newport
    It is illegal to kick your wife out of bed, in Lebanon

    Washington
    One needs a license to sell condoms in Washington state

    West Virginia
    It is unlawful for chickens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm
    One is not allowed to snooze on the train
    It’s against the law to eat candy less than an hour and a half before church service in the town of Salem

    Wisconsin
    Car dealers cannot sell cars on Sundays
    It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep

    Wyoming
    Women cannot stand within 5 feet of a bar while drinking
    One is not allowed to take pictures of a rabbit during the month of June
    In Cheyenne, residents cannot take a shower on Wednesdays

    Do you imagine that it is possible for you to go through life without violating a federal, state or local law? It’s impossible.

    Read more at http://thefreethoughtproject.com/you...VxfT0LweDds.99
    Last edited by Calz, 25th October 2013 at 06:29.

  2. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Calz For This Useful Post:

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  3. #2
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    Cmon .. roll with it TOTers ... this is hilarious stuff here.

    Makes you wonder why we have ever placed any value in the system to being with ...


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    Well, that might all be just in fun, but check this out:

    http://www.infowars.com/feds-order-s...-doctors-note/

    Yep, get that good old GMO and aspartame into ya kiddies via the school canteen, yee ha!

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    Saw that if few days ago ... don't pack lunches for our kids ... but when I was there yes all the time.


    Who the F**K are these people that feel empowered to come up with this S**T???


    Time for a revolution ... getting damn tired of this nonsense ...



  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Calz For This Useful Post:

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    Well, since I have been breaking the law all this time wearing false teeth without obtaining hubby's permission first perhaps I should spend some time in New York rounding up elevator riders who don't fold their hands and stare at the door, or talk to people riding alongside them, and become a bounty hunter?

  10. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to KosmicKat For This Useful Post:

    Calz (25th October 2013), Frances (25th October 2013), Spiral (25th October 2013), Wolf Khan (26th October 2013)

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